


Reset - The Green Edition

by SpringFire1994



Series: Rebuild, Reform, Restart [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Disorder, Blangst, Homophobia, Language, Multi, Nightmares, Not Klaine Friendly, Not Kurt Friendly, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, swears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:22:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28150827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpringFire1994/pseuds/SpringFire1994
Summary: “Are we just to ignore what happened on Friday night?” Logan asked; standing up; when the tension in the room grew too thick to breathe. “Because despite the façade you are all trying to keep, this isn’t working.”“Sit down Wright.” Daniel hissed. The six seniors looked uncomfortable, and Blaine was trying to disappear into the furniture; wedged in between Sebastian and Beat on one of the sofas.“No, I think several people here owe explanations to us all, and to each other. There has been a lot of talk about teamwork in the last few weeks, but sat here this evening, we couldn’t be any further from actually being one.”
Series: Rebuild, Reform, Restart [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053494
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	1. Confession

“Are we just to ignore what happened on Friday night?” Logan asked; standing up; when the tension in the room grew too thick to breathe. “Because despite the façade you are all trying to keep, this isn’t working.”

“Sit down Wright.” Daniel hissed. The six seniors looked uncomfortable, and Blaine was trying to disappear into the furniture; wedged in between Sebastian and Beat on one of the sofas.

“No, I think several people here owe explanations to us all, and to each other. There has been a lot of talk about teamwork in the last few weeks, but sat here this evening, we couldn’t be any further from actually being one.”

“This is for us to sort out Wright.” David said sternly. “This is not the forum for such a discussion.”

“That’s funny, considering we _all_ went out looking for Anderson on Friday night.” Blaine’s breath hitched and Beat grabbed his hand to steady him. He’d disappeared again on Sunday night, only to turn up a few hours later; refusing to tell anyone where he had been and, in an odd mood that had continued through the early days of the week. It was clear that Trent was keeping a close eye on the boy, but seemed reluctant to approach him directly, a situation which was unusual in itself.

“I’m sorry.” Blaine whispered, his eyes darting around the room, before landing back on his lap. Gone was the confident fighter they had all seen on Friday; he’d instead been replaced by a twitchy, nervous boy, who seemed reluctant to make eye contact with any of them. “I’m sorry for putting everyone at risk on Friday.”

“Blaine…” Thad started; but was cut off by a shake of Blaine’s head.

“I’m sorry for having a fight club meet when in reality, I wasn’t in a fit state, emotionally to be fighting. I’m sorry that I ran off and worried everyone, but David is right, this isn’t really the best time or place to be discussing this.”

“Actually, I agree with Logan.” Blaine’s head snapped up and his eyes went wide at Wes, who was receiving glares from his fellow councilmen and seniors. “How can we work cohesively as a team, when we can’t even _look_ at each other? I don’t have the words to convey how much I screwed up on Friday night, nor do I have the words to show you how sorry I am for what I did. But, in this room we are a _team_ , and we need to be able to work as one, no matter what’s happened between us outside of the Warblers. I think we need a discussion, to clear the air.”

“No.” Sebastian said, with a tone of finality from the side of Blaine. “You are _not_ doing this here.”

“Please Blaine.” Wes whispered; his eyes sad.

“I can’t Wes.” The younger boy choked out; shaking his head. “Not here, not _now_.”

“You heard him Montgomery.” Sebastian warned again. “Stand down.”

“Fuck you Smythe.” Wes growled. “I know _exactly_ what’s going on here. You couldn’t wait for me to screw up, could you? Couldn’t wait to swoop in and become the fucking hero. Couldn’t wait to take him away from me.”

“Stop!” Blaine yelled; jumping to his feet; his control snapping. “All of you just stop!”

“Blaine…” Trent whispered; from the opposite sofa.

“No, if you all want someone to blame then blame _me_.” The younger boy growled; knowing there was no way he was going to prevent the inevitable now, and instead deciding to get it all off his chest before he backed out. Go down in a blaze of glory or not at all. “It was _me_ who pushed to fight on Friday night, and it was _me_ who put myself in a dangerous position, that could have seen all of us expelled. It was _me_ who punched Wes and it was _me_ who decided that I was staying with Bas and Prince. None of you get to blame each other for things that _I_ did. If you want to know where I went on Sunday night, I went to Kurt’s; because Dalton was the last fucking place I wanted to be. _I_ did that. _I_ made this place feel unsafe.” There were intakes of breath from the rest of the team as tears started to drip down his cheeks.

“Blaine…”

“I can’t do this anymore.” He choked out; ignoring Trent. “I feel like I’m suffocating, and I almost didn’t come back on Sunday, because I couldn’t face what I did on Friday night.” He turned to Wes who looked stricken at his loss of control, and he knew that he had to confess. “If you want an explanation as to why I want to move out, then there it is. I’m a coward that can’t face the consequences of his own actions. I _hit_ you, and I know you are going to hate me for it, so I’m running away to Bas and Prince, because I can’t be around you, knowing that I messed up one of the best things in my life. You were my _brother_ , and I hit you.”

“But brothers _fight_ Blaine.” Wes whispered; his heart clenching at the thought of the younger boy carrying this unnecessary guilt around with him. “But we also make up, and _talk_ to each other, and _trust_ each other.”

“But _you_ didn’t trust _me_.” Blaine replied. “You have gotten that used to having to protect me that you don’t realise that I can protect myself. I thought you were different to my parents, and the courts. I thought you _knew_ that I’m not what they told me I am.”

“Of _course_ you’re not.” Wes breathed; his eyes wide.

“Then why do you treat me as though I need my hand holding? Why do you treat me like I don’t know right from wrong? I thought you of all people would have understood how important it was to be able to work through these things myself. I thought you of all people would recognise my need for control; as a desperate attempt to feel _normal_. Two years ago, I lost _everything_. I lost my friends, my future, my _school_. I lost my parents, and Cooper; and instead, I was dumped here by people who were supposed to _love_ me.”

“Devon.” Beat whispered from the sofa. “You don’t have to do this. Everyone understands.”

“Do they?” Blaine snapped. “Because from where I’m standing none of you could possibly know what I’ve been through. I woke up from that coma to be told that I was going to be a retard for the rest of my life; that I was _never_ going to be normal. That I would always need around the clock care to make sure I didn’t try to hurt myself, or anyone else in a fit of uncontrolled rage, because my brain was so screwed up that a psychotic break wasn’t off the cards. Can any of you honestly tell me that you know what that feels like? To have to accept that your life is never going to be your own again? That you would have to rely on strangers for the rest of your existence, so that you don’t go off the rails in some sick, twisted killing spree?”

“Devon.” It was clear to everyone in the room that Beat was on the edge; but Blaine had already gone over the cliff, and showed no signs of wanting to slow his own freefall. The dark-haired boy was pacing the room; pulling on his curls and no one seemed to know what to do, or where to look. It was so _public_. Beat’s voice cracked and the tears started; but there was no reaching Blaine; who seemed to be deep in his own memories.

“I came here believing that I was worth less than nothing. That it didn’t matter whether I lived or not, because who the _fuck_ would mourn the passing of the village retard?” Beat’s whimper went unheard by Blaine, and the young boy folded into the side of his cousin.

“Blaine stop.” Trent whispered; watching in horror as their tiny freshman broke down into Sebastian’s arms in the face of Blaine’s hate filled rant.

“I came here planning on hanging myself at the first opportunity, because fuck the existence my parents were wanting to subject me to. I’d already lost everything so what did it matter?”

“Blaine stop.” Sebastian said sternly; but not unkindly. He was rocking his younger cousin in his arms; Beat sobbing against his blazer; gripping onto the lapels with white knuckles. “Please, just stop for a moment.” Blaine spun around at the sound of Sebastian’s voice, and his eyes widened at the sight of Beat. His shoulders dropped as his anger deflated and he moved over to the sofa to sit down at the other side of the boy.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered; reaching out for Beat. “Prince I’m so sorry, _please_. I didn’t mean…” Blaine never got the chance to finish as the tiny boy flung himself into his arms; sobbing into his chest.

“And there you have your explanation.” David hissed at Wes. “I hope you’re fucking proud of yourself.” Wes didn’t look proud; he looked as though he was going to follow Beat into a full-on breakdown, and Trent knew that he had to do something to stop that from happening.

“I think we need to pick this up at another time.” He said softly; addressing the room. The rest of the team, were looking on with wide eyes as the two sophomores held on to one another and no one knew what to say. There was nothing that they _could_ say. It was clear that neither of them; nor any of their seniors were in any fit state to be doing anything that evening, and so Ethan, Daniel and Grant took control; ushering all of them out; giving Logan a nudge out of the door when the junior seemed reluctant to move.

Soon the room held only Blaine, Beat, Sebastian, the seniors, and Evan; who had point blank refused to go _anywhere_.

“Congratulations on a fuck up of epic proportions.” The freshman said before Trent had the chance to intervene; leaning back against the sofa and crossing his arms. “Did any of you ever stop to consider _yourselves_ in this toxic soup of a fucked-up friendship? Because all I keep hearing is how much you’ve sacrificed for one another, or how much you’ve fought for one another and all it’s done is destroy the lot of you.”

“Shut up Lindley.” David muttered.

“No.” Evan snapped back in return. “Not until you sort this out, because I’m _not_ going to sit here and watch as all of you self-destruct in some blaze of fucked up chivalry bullshit. Blaine, get your head out of Beat’s shoulder and finish your rant, because I think we all know that it didn’t end up in the direction you’d initially intended. You want a forum? Here’s your chance, get everything off your chest now, so we al know where we stand. Only _then_ are any of us going to have any fucking chance of moving forwards.”

“I can’t.” Blaine whispered; shaking his head and pulling Beat closer to him.

“Yes you _can_.” Evan replied sternly. “More than that, you _must_. Do you honestly think that any of us are going to think less of you for speaking your mind? Because trust me when I say that we will all love you just the same, however fucked up you think your life gets. We love you because you’re _you_ , and all of us can see how much you’ve been hurting. So please, let’s finally get this sorted out so that we don’t end up with another incident like Friday.”

“Fight Club is being disbanded.” Blaine said hurriedly. “I’m never fighting again.”

“Stop deflecting.” Evan responded. “This isn’t about Fight Club; this is about your feelings.”

“Evan’s right.” Beat whispered; pulling back from Blaine and wiping his eyes; sniffing heavily. “Don’t worry about me, just say what’s on your mind.”

“I don’t want you hurting.”

“I’m hurting because of how little you think of yourself B.” The young boy said. “I’m hurting at the thought of you not wanting to be here.”

“But I have something to be here _for_ now.” Blaine breathed; his eyes widening in shock. “That’s what I was trying to say.”

“It didn’t sound like that Killer.” Sebastian said softly; reaching out to squeeze Blaine’s arm. “So why don’t you try and tell us what you _did_ mean.”

“When I came here, I had nothing.” Blaine started; swallowing at Sebastian’s nod to continue. “But then _you_ took me in.” He looked up at Wes, who was in tears and on the verge of losing his control, and tried to make the older boy understand. “You became my brother, gave me something to live for. You saved my life, even when I still didn’t believe it was worth saving. You gave everything up, for _me_ , and I’ve repaid you with what happened on Friday. I’ve hurt you and I can’t stay and face that because it makes me feel sick every time I see you.”

“But you have _nothing_ to apologise _for_ Devon.” Wes whispered.

“I have a _lot_ to apologise for. I put myself in reckless situations, and all I achieve is scaring you, throwing everything you’ve worked for in your face. I know that you will say I don’t owe you anything, but I at least owe it to you not to risk my own life for a cheap thrill. I owe it to you to talk to you when I’m feeling frustrated or suffocated, because lashing out at you only achieves hurting _both_ of us. I owe you my life, my sanity, my happiness and how do I repay you? By hitting you.”

“You were angry.” Wes said softly. “And you had every reason to be, god Devon, what I did on Friday night; what ‘ve _been_ doing… I have a temper, you know that, but what I did on Friday was inexcusable.”

“I shouldn’t have left you alone together.” Trent whispered. “I’m so sorry, to _both_ of you. Nick told me what was going on, but I thought that you would both be able to work it out. I was wrong and what happened that night was as much my fault as it was either of yours.”

“But you shouldn’t feel responsible for us Trent.” Blaine whispered.

“But I _do_.” The older boy replied. “Nick was right last week; when he asked me if all of my decisions of late have been sound. I have been projecting onto you D. I have my own set of insecurities, and I’ve been seeing parallels between things that have happened to me in the past, and the things that are happening to you now. I’m trying to work things out, and I _will_ do better, I promise.”

“If there is one person here who can’t be accused of not doing enough, it’s you Trent.” Nick muttered. “I _was_ in the wrong when I questioned you, I should have been concentrating on myself, and what _I_ could be doing better.”

“Listen to all of you.” Blaine whispered; his eyes darting around the room. “Can’t you see what I’ve _done_ to you all? You’re sat here blaming yourselves for _my_ situation. This isn’t right, none of you should feel like you are responsible for me, all I ever wanted was for you guys to be my _friends_.” Trent swallowed heavily as his mother’s words came to mind. Maybe it _was_ better if they all took several steps backwards from the situation. Maybe there _were_ some things that Blaine had to figure out himself.

“What do you all want, moving forwards?” Evan asked; when the room lapsed into silence. “What is going to make this better?”

“I want to move in with Beat.” Blaine replied; looking up at Wes. “This isn’t just because of what happened on Friday, you know that this has been a long time coming. I love you Wes, but neither of us can keep doing this if we want to keep our sanity. You and Trent are going to move in together for the rest of the year, and Beat and I will share.”

“Only if you promise that you’ll come and get us if you need us.” Wes replied. “No wandering around the school if you can’t sleep; you come to _us_.” Blaine nodded his acceptance.

“I want to sit and talk to you about your grades, and your work load next year.” Trent said softly. “I need you to understand just how much stress you’ll be under, and I need you to make a serious decision on whether you are going to be able to cope. I can’t be here to tutor you like I have been doing, and if you start to struggle it will be because I haven’t prepared you enough. I need to know if you’re ready.”

“You keep telling me I am.” Blaine replied.

“And perhaps that’s been a mistake on my part.” Trent said softly; guilt written across his face. “You are more than smart enough to keep up in class D, but your homework load is going to triple, and you’ll need to start looking into college applications and extracurriculars. It’s not the work I’m worried about, it’s the stress of it all.”

“But Wes’s dad said that I could have an AA.”

“And that is a mistake on _his_ part.” Wes replied bitterly. “We’ve heard nothing from him in that regards, and we’re still trying to get your summer sorted out.”

“All I’m saying is that I need to make sure your prepared for it all, for my own piece of mind as much as yours.” Trent butted in, before Wes could go off on a rant. “I have no doubts that you are smart enough, but we need to plan for any eventuality.”

“Okay.” Blaine whispered with a nod. “Can we do it this weekend?”

“Of course we can.”

“Tell us what you need from us Blaine.” Thad said softly; when the younger boy’s eyes moved over the rest of them. “Tell us what you want us to do.”

“Be my friends.” Blaine replied. “Nothing else. I don’t need protecting, and I don’t want any of you to feel like you have to worry about me all the time. I need room to breathe. I love all of you, but I can’t cope with feeling like I have your eyes on me all the time, watching for me to stumble.”

“We only do so, so that we can be there to pick you up.” Jeff said quietly. “Because that’s what friends are meant to do for each other.”

“But I can’t cope Jeff.” Blaine whispered. “It feels like I’m being scrutinised for the tiniest misstep, and it’s more pressure than I can handle right now. I will always need you guys, and I will work on telling you if I’m feeling like this again, but right now I just need space. Can you do that?”

“Yes Blaine.” Nick said softly; gripping his boyfriend’s arm. “Of course we can.”

“What can I do?” Beat asked with wide eyes once the room had lapsed back into silence. “What do you need from me?”

“I need you to keep being yourself.” Blaine said softly; moving back over to wrap Beat in his arms. “Nothing else Prince, just you.”

“But I can help.”

“I know you can, and I know that you _want_ to. But, it’s not fair for me to be leaning on people all the time. It’s not healthy for me, and it’s not healthy or any of you to be holding me up. I need to learn to walk on my own two feet. So, I want you to concentrate on yourself, and if I ever need you, or if you ever need me in return, we can work it out from there. I need you to promise me this Prince, promise me that you won’t stress yourself out over me.”

“I promise I’ll try.” Beat replied and Blaine buried his face into the younger boy’s grapefruit scented curls. “I promise.”

“As touching as this is, please don’t expect any such promises from _me_.” Sebastian drawled; picking at his nails and feigning disinterest. “I will be sitting down with you and Nixon at the weekend. If you think I’m letting you get behind on your studies, then you are going to have a nasty shock.”

“He’s a monster.” Beat whispered, and Blaine smiled a genuine smile, for the first time in days.


	2. Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have three chapter for this written, and I'm half way through a fourth, so I will try to update again either tomorrow or Monday, or both if you're all lucky. I know that the Blue Edition isn't going to be for everyone, so hopefully this goes in a slightly more conventional direction. This was the original plan for this fic, so it's already mostly planned out. Hope you all enjoy, and please let me know what you think in the comments box!

“I want to change one of the songs for Nationals.” Blaine said softly; plunging the room into silence. It had been three days since the disastrous last meeting, and he’d spent most of the week reassuring concerned Warblers that he _wasn’t_ suicidal. It was testament to how his brain worked; when everyone had managed to miss his point entirely.

“Devon, we’re three weeks away…” Wes started.

“It’s written, and there will be practically no choreography involved but I want to do it instead of Kings.”

“But we just spent last week getting Kings down.” Logan said with a frown.

“I know, and I’m sorry. I know what I’m asking is unfair, but I think some of us still need to get some things off of our chests. Besides we haven’t got Kings down yet anyway; we keep messing up on the last chorus. This is a much simpler song and it only requires three of us actually moving.”

“Can you sing it for us?” Wes asked softly; gesturing to the piano.

“Only if you and Trent sing with me.” The two seniors looked at each other and nodded; accepting the sheets from Blaine and moving to stand at the side of the piano. “I wrote this last night. It’s not complex but…”

“I’m sure it will be fine Devon.” Trent said softly. “Whenever you’re ready.” Blaine took a deep breath and started to play; words coming easily, and with emotion, as Trent and Wes joined in with the verses. The rest of the team gave them a standing ovation, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the room, by the time they had finished.

“Devon…” Wes whispered.

“I know it’s a gamble, but I want to do this Wes. Kings is a fight song, this is something more.”

“It’s your story.” Trent whispered.

“It’s _our_ story.” Blaine replied with a shake of his head. “This is us, on a page and as close to the truth as I can explain it.”

“Blaine…” Wes whispered; his cheeks suspiciously wet.

“I know, but it needed saying, _all_ of it.”

“I agree with Anderson.” Logan said stiffly. “It needs saying, and we’re _all_ struggling with Kings. Give him this.” There were cries of ‘ _hear_ , _hear_ ’ around the room and Wes nodded; knowing that it was pointless putting it to a vote.

“Okay.” He whispered. “It’s yours.”

“No Wes, It’s _ours_.”

* * *

The move had gone seamlessly enough. Wes had packed up his things and moved into Trent’s dorm; swapping with Beat who was currently moving his stuff in with Blaine. All of them had agreed that Blaine would feel more comfortable staying in a familiar dorm, and with Nick and Jeff next door; and Wes and Trent in the next corridor, it was a solution they were all happy with.

“Thank Christ for that.” Sebastian huffed out; half-jokingly; as he hefted the last of Beat’s bags into the room. “I thought maman had packed too much for _me_ ; but _this_ is ridiculous.”

“It’s everything.” Beat whispered nervously; sitting on the edge of his new bed.

“What do you mean it’s everything?” His older cousin shot back; concern on his face.

“I mean, it’s _everything_. I was going to tell you, but we got so caught up with Blaine and…”

“Eddie, what happened?” Sebastian asked when Beat trailed off; leaving the bags and kneeling down to grip the top of the younger boy’s arm. “Talk to me cousin; _please_.”

“Last year I moved out of home and into the dorms permanently.” Beat replied in a whisper. “Even during the summer, I was barely at home. Dad let me take the truck out camping, and as soon as school started back, I moved all of my stuff here.”

“Why?”

“Why do you _think_ asshole?” Beat snapped.

“I thought she was getting better.”

“Yeah, when she ‘ _remembers_ ’ to take her meds.” The younger boy hissed out bitterly. “She accused me of trying to poison her last time I tried to help. I get more done here anyway, and the holidays are always quiet enough for me to catch up on any reading.”

“You should have told me.”

“I _don’t_ need a babysitter.”

“I’m not trying to _be_ one.” Sebastian replied; blowing out a frustrated breath. “But you still should have told me. What were you planning on doing come summer?”

“I don’t know. I was kind of hoping to come to Paris to see _you_.”

“You’re always welcome.” Sebastian replied. “Leave it with me okay? Let me talk to maman and see what I can do.”

“I’m not moving back to France.” Beat said sternly; shaking his head. “I’m not running away from her again. Blaine needs me, and I need Dalton. I’m _happy_ here Sebastian. I have friends.”

“I’m not asking you to move back. I’m not going anywhere until at least after college. I was thinking more along the lines of you moving in with _me_. Let me see what I can do, and I’ll get back to you. But first; we need to get you unpacked and settled in for when Blaine gets back, okay?” Beat nodded and the pair of them worked through his cases together.

* * *

“Why are we here?” Blaine asked; looking up at Trent’s house; anxiously.

“Because we all need to talk to someone.” Trent answered. “And my mother wanted to see you.”

“My parents can’t find out.”

“And they _won’t_ Devon.” Trent replied. “They won’t say anything to your mum and dad, they just want to see you.” Blaine swallowed nervously and followed Trent and Wes up the steps to the front door. Wes had been subdued ever since their disaster of a Warbler meeting; on Tuesday night, and Blaine had hoped that the song he’d written for that afternoon; would have lifted some of the guilt from Wes’s shoulders. If anything, Wes seemed even worse; practically silent as they’d finished up practise and headed to get changed for Trent’s outing, and Blaine didn’t know what he’d done wrong.

“Hello Wesley.” Mary Nixon greeted; moving to give the boy a hug, after she’d greeted her own son. “And hello Blaine.” He smiled nervously and nodded. “Or would you prefer I use Devon?” She asked kindly; noting how stiff his shoulders were.

“Blaine’s fine ma’am.” He replied quickly. She smiled in return and beckoned them all through the hall way and into the kitchen; where she’d laid out a spread of home baked goods.

“I prefer things as informal as possible, so please call me Mary, and help yourself to cake and biscuits. Do any of you boys want something to drink?”

“I’ll get them mum.” Trent said softly; moving to boil the kettle; knowing that Blaine would refuse otherwise; not wanting to be seen to put anyone out.

“I trust you boys had a quiet drive back?”

“As quiet as it can be on a Friday night.” Wes replied with a smile. “It didn’t help that we set off a little late, but Trent was fussing over Beat.”

“Edward’s a sweet boy.” Mary replied with a large smile. “I trust he’s doing well?”

“He and Devon are moving in together.” Wes said with a tight smile. “He wanted to come, but his older cousin shanghaied him into moving all of his things today.”

“Oh, this is a new development.” Mary said; raising her eyebrows. “And so close to the end of the year too.”

“Wes and I moving into a dorm together mum.” Trent said; saving Wes or Blaine from having to answer. “Beat and Wes have done a straight swap is all.”

“It’s my fault ma’am.” Blaine said quietly; his eyes fixed onto his lap and his fingers knotting together. “I asked Beat to room with me next year, and we all thought that a trial run before the summer would be best. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

“What inconvenience?” Mary asked with a frown; but Blaine’s courage seemed to have escaped him, and his face was bright red as he stared pointedly at his lap. “I’m sure it’s no inconvenience to anyone. As long as you’re all happy up there, then I’m sure it’s down to you who lives where.” Blaine didn’t answer and Wes and Trent shared a look between them; something that didn’t go unnoticed by Mary.

“Here you go D.” Trent said softly; handing the younger boy a mug of the same tea Wes drank. He’d made sure to ask his mother to get some in, knowing that it would make Blaine feel more at ease and hoped that it might bring him out of his shell. “Do you want something to eat? My mum’s baking is the best.” Blaine shook his head; his eyes still fixed on his lap, and a pained look crossed Trent’s face.

Mary could see now, why her son had become so upset. This wasn’t the same boy she was used to dealing with, when the Warblers came for practices during the summer. Blaine had always been a little shy, when not singing his heart out; but now he was practically crippled with introversion, and the differences were startling.

“How about we move through to the sitting room?” She asked. “My bum can only take these sitting on these stools for so long.” She stood up and watched as Trent had to practically force Blaine to move; guiding him by his shoulders; and rubbing the top of his arm in a bid to calm his nerves. “Why don’t you boys tell me what you have been working on with the Warblers.” She said softly, hoping a safe topic might help; and they all settled into the pair of comfortable sofas, with Blaine sandwiched between the two boys. “Are you prepared for Nationals?”

“We think so.” Wes replied. “Although Devon has just written a piece this week, that we all agree we just _have_ to perform.”

“It’s not that good.” Blaine replied quietly. “And we don’t _have_ to perform it. It’s too close to competition for us to be changing the setlist now anyway.”

“But you were so sure of yourself earlier.” Trent replied softly. “Come on D, talk to us. Tell us why you’ve changed your mind.”

“Because you don’t like it. Neither of you have said anything since practise, and you only went with it because the others wanted us to do it. The judges will find it vulgar anyway. It’s too personal.”

“I thought that’s what song writing was supposed to be about?” Mary said; butting into the conversation, and shaking her head at the older boys when they went to interrupt. “All the best songs come from writing about things personal to you. Otherwise, you might as well be writing love songs about hotdogs.” Blaine cracked a small smile at that, and she considered it a small victory.

“We love the song D.” Trent added softly. “It just hit a little close to home earlier, and we’ve both needed time to process. It’s really very good, and I’m proud of you for writing it.”

“I thought you’d be mad.”

“Why would we be mad Dev?” Wes asked.

“Because of what I wrote for _your_ parts. It’s personal and I shouldn’t have done it without asking.”

“You know that we’re happy to sing anything you write us Devon.” Trent said; reaching out to take Blaine’s hands into his own. “And your songs are _always_ personal, it’s nothing we haven’t heard from you before. You told us yourself that it is the truth, the best you can see it, and neither Wes nor I can disagree.”

“But…”

“No buts, Devon.” Wes replied; his voice gaining a slight edge. “We’re doing it, and that’s that. You wrote us a beautiful piece of music; you can’t expect us not to use it.”

“Okay.” Blaine conceded; his eyes falling back into his lap.

“What are your thoughts on the song Blaine?” Mary asked softly; once again motioning for the two older boys not to intervene. Immediately she could see the small problems in just that one conversation. He had not meant to do it, but Wes had basically forced Blaine to bend to his will, and the younger boy had not even put up a fight. She knew that her son had noticed the same thing; due to the small glare he sent his friend. “How do _you_ feel about performing it in front of people? If it’s so personal to you, it might not be easy.”

“Its just a song.” Blaine replied with a shrug. “I’ve written quite a few now, and I’ve never had problems before.”

“Do all the songs you write make you feel like this one?”

“No.” The young boy answered after he took a few minutes to think. “But not all songs were written the same way this one was. I write because it’s how I work through my emotions, but when I wrote this, I knew exactly what I wanted people to hear. It has a message.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

“Nervous, I guess.” Blaine replied. “About whether people are going to like it, or whether it sends the _right_ message. I’m not very good at explaining things, or saying how I feel, so it might be completely off the mark.”

“Have you asked anyone how they perceived it?” Mary asked. “What they heard in the words?”

“No.”

“Then maybe it’s something you could do, to try and gauge how it could be received at the competition.”

“That’s a good idea.” Blaine said softly; his eyes moving up to meet hers. “Thank you.”

“I’m sure you’d have gotten there at some stage.” She said; waving her hand in a dismissive gesture. “I just helped speed that process along.”

“You’re good at this.” She laughed softly and nodded her appreciation at the complement.

“Thank you, Blaine; that’s very kind.” Blaine blushed slightly and his eyes fell back into his lap; but he was smiling slightly, and she considered it progress. “Do any of you feel up to a slice of cake?” When she received; not two, but three nods; she considered their short conversation a success.


	3. Tentative Hope and Hopeless Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of update yesterday, we had an emergency at work and so i barely sat down all day. I'll be updating the Blue Edition tomorrow, rather than today, as I've made some slight changes to the next chapter.
> 
> I'm working over the Christmas period which will more than likely mean that I'll still be updating regularly so if you're doing what I usually do and taking a break over Christmas, there will be plenty of new chapters for you to enjoy after new years. Here in the UK the holidays are just about cancelled, and with having to work through them, I figured I'd have to keep myself sane somehow. 
> 
> I'm going to take this opportunity to wish you all a Merry Christmas, and a Happy Holidays, and I hope that wherever you are in the world, you are staying safe. It's been a funny old year, but lets keep doing what we can to help the situation, and keep looking forwards to 2021.

“I understand now.” Mary said on Saturday night, as she sat down after dinner with her husband and son. “Why you were so upset over what was happening to Blaine. Was he telling me the truth, about why Wesley and Edward are swapping dorms?”

“Mostly.” Trent sighed; curling up on the sofa and hugging his coffee to his chest, knowing that this talk was going to turn serious. “They _were_ planning on sharing next year, and the _had_ decided that a settling in period was necessary, but it wasn’t supposed to happen so soon.”

“So, we come back to what happened last Friday then.” She stated; the pieces starting to click together in her head. “When he and Wesley fought.”

“They’re both terrified of hurting one another.” Trent replied with a sigh; rubbing his temple. “Blaine’s worried he’s going to lash out again, and Wes is worried that he is going to lose his temper and say something he doesn’t mean. They’re both incredibly stubborn and it’s not a situation we have any hope of resolving until they realise that they’re doing more damage to each other through their shared avoidance.”

“Do you know anything about Wes’s home life?” Mary asked. “I’m not trying to pry darling, but there could very well be a reason he feels so protective of Blaine. Protective enough to get angry with him anyway.”

“I don’t know much.” Trent replied slowly. “He loves his mom to bits, but his relationship with his dad is complicated. Especially recently, and with how Mr Montgomery has been treating Blaine’s case. Wes thinks he needs to be doing more, and none of us can disagree.”

“It _is_ unusual for Charles to have not intervened by now.” David said; more to his wife than his son. “I always thought he ran a tight ship over there, but the level of care this boy _hasn’t_ received is alarming at best.”

“It’s the Andersons.” Trent replied softly. “They’re monsters.”

“I am beginning to agree with you son.” David said with a nod. “But they’re squeaky clean as far as the courts are concerned.”

“Is there nothing Uncle Chris can do?”

“Not without proof.” David replied with a grimace. “But we expected that anyway. The best we can offer is to send the boy home for a week before you go around to invite him out for the afternoon. Spring it on them without warning.”

“I’m not sure I feel comfortable sending Trent around to that house.” Mary said with a frown.

“He won’t be going alone. Both of us will be going with him, and then anything that is seen, cannot be passed of as the delusional ramblings of underage kids.”

“Will a week be enough?” Mary asked of her son, who still looked reluctant.

“I don’t know.” He answered honestly. “But I’m not sure I like the idea of him being in that house longer than he strictly needs to be.”

“Neither do we, but as horrible as it sounds, we won’t be able to remove him from them without proof.”

“It just feels like we’re sending him back there to be abused.” Trent whispered; shaking his head, his eyes welling up. “I don’t know if I can cope with that.”

“I know sweetheart.” Mary replied softly; moving closer to him and reaching out to rub his ankle gently. He looked smaller somehow; curled up into the arm of the sofa; and swamped in one of his father’s sweaters; cradling his mug like a hot water bottle to his chest. “But I promise you that he won’t be there a single hour he doesn’t need to be. The first sign of trouble, we move in.”

“Do we tell him what we’re planning?” David asked. “If we can give him a safe-word for him to text you to let you know he’s in trouble, we can get him as soon as possible.”

“I think it’s a good idea.” Mary agreed. “Then he knows he has an out if he needs it.”

“What if they take his phone?”

“Then how about we give him a different word to text you twice a day at certain times, and if he doesn’t text, we go over there?” David asked. “Get him to check in every morning and evening. And he can still use the safe-word if he needs to.” Trent mulled over the plan his parents had come up with. It was more than he’d managed, and he’d had a lot longer to think about this than they had. It wasn’t going to be full proof by any stretch, but it would help to eliminate _some_ of the danger that Blaine would no doubt find himself in.

“Okay.” He said after a few minutes. “But if I even smell that something is off, I’m going over there to pull him out.”

“And that is perfectly understandable.” Mary said softly. “I’m so proud of you my darling boy, I hope you know that. What you have been doing for those boys at Dalton; is an extraordinary thing for a young man your age to be able to accomplish. We’re _both_ so proud of you.” Trent rubbed his sleeve across his eyes, and let the warmth of his living room, and of his parents soak through him.

* * *

“I don’t know what the big fuss is.” Blaine sighed; dropping backwards onto his bed; his arms and legs stuck out; making him look like a starfish. “People keep telling me I’m ready for next year, but Trent and Bas are insisting on this damn study session tomorrow. We were supposed to have Warbler practice all day.”

“Have people stopped asking you about Tuesday at least?” Beat asked quietly; knowing that it had been stressing his friend out when boys had stopped him in the hall way to make sure he was okay.

“It’s died down somewhat, but not enough. I didn’t mean for it to sound the way it did, and now everyone is watching me. _This_ is what I’ve been trying to avoid, and my rant has just made it ten times worse.”

“Hasn’t Evan been running interference for you?” Beat asked with a frown. The freshman had kept popping up during the week; usually whenever Blaine found himself in an uncomfortable conversation, and he was very grateful for the boy’s help.

“He has, but it’s not enough, we need something to distract them all from the gossip.”

“The gossip hasn’t bothered you before.”

“Because I didn’t know there _was_ gossip.” Blaine replied with a growl. “I’ve been blinded to it all, and now the shutters have been rolled up, I can’t help _but_ notice it.”

“Did you have anything in mind?” Beat asked.

“I was wondering if Thad had any ideas.” Blaine said with a sigh. “He always has the best ones.” The younger boy snorted at that.

“I’m not sure Wes would agree.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

“I wanted to talk to you about the summer.” Beat said softly; sitting on his bed and pressing back against the wall. “I was wondering if you wanted to come on holiday with me and Stan. I think we’re going to Paris for a few days to see my Aunt and Uncle.” Blaine frowned and sat up; rubbing the back of his neck with a hand.

“I’m not sure me making plans for the summer is a good idea.” He said slowly. “I know Trent is trying to cook something up against my parents, and the fallout from that will probably land on me. If I’m even allowed out of the house, I’m afraid I might not be very good company.”

“They can’t keep you prisoner Devon.” Beat said softly.

“You don’t know them.”

“No, you’re right. I don’t.” The younger boy let out a sigh and the pair of them lapsed into silence as they both contemplated the weeks that were laying ahead of them. “Where would you have gone?” Beat suddenly asked; out of the blue.

“What do you mean?”

“You said that you almost didn’t come back on Sunday night. Where would you have gone?”

“I don’t know.” Was his honest reply. “Away from here I suppose. Away from Ohio, my parents. Just away.”

“Away from _me_.” Beat’s voice was small, and Blaine could tell that he was tearing up.

“Beat…”

“Would you really have left me?”

“I’m still here aren’t I?” Blaine asked; getting up and moving over to Beat’s bed; sitting next to him and allowing him to curl into his side. “I haven’t gone anywhere.”

“I’d miss you if you went.” Beat rubbed his eyes with his sleeve and sniffled; letting out a teary laugh when Blaine produced a pack of tissues from his pocket; a quirk he’d more than likely picked up from Trent.

“I know you would. I’d miss you too, and Stan; in his own crazy way.”

“He likes you.” Beat said softly; wiping his eyes and nose; scrunching the tissue up into his fist. He didn’t know why it had slipped out, and he hadn’t meant to say anything, but it was too late now, and down the rabbit hole they went. Blaine blushed bright red and ducked his head; fixing his eyes on his lap.

“I know. I might be oblivious sometimes, but I can tell when someone is making cow eyes, or checking me out.” He said quietly. “I’m not ready though Prince, and I don’t know if I ever will be. I was _happy_ with Kurt. I know it was messed up and it wasn’t a healthy relationship, but I liked the way he looked at me when we were together. I liked the way he made me laugh.”

“Do you still love him?” Beat asked quietly.

“I don’t know. I don’t feel the same way I did, but I honestly couldn’t say. I have seen a different side to him; if that makes sense. I don’t know if either of us could fully move past some of the things that were said.”

“How did you know?” Beat asked. “That you _liked_ him?”

“Are you asking me for dating advice Prince?” Blaine asked; his embarrassment turning into amusement and he raised an eyebrow with a smirk. “Because I can promise you that I’m useless in _that_ area.”

“I just wondered.” Beat replied; shrugging his shoulders. Blaine looked at his younger roommate and noted the faint blush on his cheeks, not to mention he was refusing to make eye contact.

“What’s going on?” Beat’s blush darkened and he cleared his throat nervously.

“I think there’s a boy I like. But I don’t know if I like him _that_ way.” Well, _this_ was a new development.

“Well how does he make you feel?” Blaine asked; sure, that he was the least useful person to be helping Beat, but wanting to try all the same.

“Warm.” Beat replied without hesitation. “Nervous. Giddy. I lose my breath when I’m around him.”

“Have you ever felt that way about anyone else?” Beat didn’t know what possessed him to nod his head, and he kicked his subconscious for putting him through this conversation.

“Can I ask who it was?”

“Promise you won’t get mad?”

“I could never be mad at you Prince.” Blaine replied; pulling him closer and squeezing his waist. “I promise.”

“You.” Blaine’s eyebrows furrowed as he tried to make sense of what Beat had just said.

“Me?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Why not?” Blaine’s eyebrows were high, and a look of disbelief was written all over his face. He certainly hadn’t expected the conversation to take this much of a turn, and he wasn’t quite sure how he was feeling about the whole thing.

“Because I’m a mess Beat.” He said finally; shaking his head.

“You’re one of the strongest and most beautiful people I have ever met.” Was the younger boy’s sincere reply. “Both inside _and_ out. I fell in love with you within a week, but felt like it would be taking advantage of you if I tried anything. You were still kind of…”

“Messed up?”

“Not the words I would use, but it _was_ last year. I felt horrible for even considering approaching you, and so I buried it down. Then I met you properly, and I realised that you’re a better person than I even imagined you to be, and you make an amazing big brother and friend.” Blaine smiled and buried his face into Beat’s curls. The awkwardness he’d expected to feel never arrived and he tightened his arms around his roommate.

“I love you too Beat.” He said softly. “But we wouldn’t work out.”

“I know.”

“So, who’s the lucky guy?”

“Promise you won’t laugh.”

“I promise.”

“Evan.”

“Lindley?”

“Do you know another one?” Beat asked with a laugh. “Yes _our_ Evan. He’s kind of hot you know.”

“I can’t say I’d ever looked.”

“Not your type?”

“I don’t even know if I _have_ a type Beat. Kurt, Jeremiah and Sebastian are about as different from each other as it’s possible to be.”

“So, you _do_ have feelings for Stan.” Beat replied with a smirk in triumph. “I knew it. Now Trent owes me twenty dollars.”

“Are you _betting_ on my love life Edward Windsor?” Blaine asked incredulously; but with amusement in his eyes.

“Absofuckinglutely, you just won me twenty bucks.” Both boys broke down into laughter and Blaine began to feel lighter than he had in weeks.

* * *

Sebastian sighed as he stared up at his ceiling; thinking over everything that had happened in just the space of a short week. Despite the disaster of the previous weekend, and the painful Warbler meeting on Tuesday night; Blaine had bounced back quicker than anyone had expected him to. He wasn’t sure how much the other boy was burying down; but he _did_ believe that things were going to get easier from here on in.

There was just one tiny problem.

His crush on the dark-haired boy had only grown. Blaine was good looking, intelligent, kind, selfless and sexy as hell. He had taken his cousin’s warning to heart though, and was determined not to fuck things up. Eddie had been right when he’d pointed out just how lucky Sebastian had been; living in the city of love, was much different than being trapped in conservative Ohio. He’d researched gay bars in the area and had been sorely disappointed. Still, at least Scandals sold booze, so that was a win.

He’d promised his maman that he would try and behave himself; but it was growing increasingly difficult when the figure of his dreams, smiled at him every morning in the damn hallway. Blaine looked at him like the sun would look at the earth, bright and full of happiness; and it was equal parts sickeningly sweet and sexy as hell.

He groaned and rolled off his bed; knowing that it would take nothing less than a cold shower to cool him off.


	4. Handover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Eve everyone, here's a healthy dose of angst to sober you up!
> 
> Hope you are all keeping safe and well, and I'm sending Yule blessings to you and yours. Whether you celebrate the holidays or not, I hope you are still getting into the spirit of the season. Winter can be cold and cruel, so make sure that you drink plenty to keep you warm, and remember to keep those extra blankets and a good book handy!
> 
> Hope you all have a good day tomorrow, wherever you are and whatever your holidays look like, and I'll be back to posting on Boxing day.

“Good morning Killer.” Sebastian greeted with a smirk when Blaine finally dropped down into a chair. The younger boy had crashed through the library doors; gaining a sour look from Mrs Prince; and had his bag slung over his shoulder; papers flying out as he practically ran to the table. He grunted in response to Sebastian’s greeting and Trent grinned; producing a large cup of coffee from the dining hall. Blaine took it with a nod of thanks and proceeded to down the entire thing; slumping back in his chair once he’d finished; a satisfied look on his face.

“Better?” Trent asked.

“Much. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. We have a lot to discuss, so I thought you might need a pick me up.” Blaine grimaced but nodded anyway. He hadn’t been looking forwards to this discussion, as he knew that it had the potential to decide what he was going to do at the end of the year.

“What are we starting with?” He asked; opening his bag and pulling out piles of papers; separating everything into stacks; according to subject.

“Holy shit Killer, how many classes are you taking?” Sebastian asked with wide eyes; ignoring Trent’s tut at his language.

“Just a few.” Blaine replied with a shrug. “And most of these piles are as big as they are because I’ve been writing more than ever this year.” Sebastian pulled one of the stacks forwards, and saw that Blaine was right; about three quarters of the papers had been defaced with music and scribbles of lyrics; margins being used liberally for bars upon bars of notes; whole songs composed within the space between calculus equations. “It’s not been so bad since Trent advised me to get a journal, but there are times when I can’t help it.”

“Well, this is a discussion for another time.” Trent said softly, before their planned talk could disintegrate into Sebastian mooning over Blaine’s musical prowess for the next hour. “We’re not covering any subjects specifically this morning; we’re just here to talk about your workload.”

“You mean I dug everything I could get my hands on out of my desk, and _now_ you tell me I don’t need any of it?” Blaine asked incredulously; his eyebrows going up. “It took me over an hour to find all of this, and I’m certain there’s still another huge pile in the bottom drawer of my wardrobe.”

“Sorry, had I have known you would dig everything out; I would have said.” Trent apologised with a grimace. “But at least you have some idea what your coursework load for next year is going to look like. We’re here to help you sort out a plan of action for it all, but first I have something else I need to discuss with you.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Trent replied; shaking his head. “It’s about your summer.”

“Look… I know you’re trying to help by getting your uncle and parents involved; but there’s nothing you can do.”

“Yes, there _is_ , but I need your help. You _have_ to go back home D, there’s no way around that; but there might be a way to keep you safe, so I’m going to ask you to do something for me.”

“What is it?”

“I need you to pick three words. Any you like, but they can’t be words you would use accidentally in conversation. I want you to text me one of those words every morning at ten o’clock, another in the evening, at seven o’clock, and the last word is going to be for emergencies.”

“I don’t need babysitting Trent.” Blaine growled. “I thought we’d covered this.”

“I’m not trying to babysit you Blaine.” The older boy replied gently. “My dad came up with this idea so that if you miss a check in, or if you text me the emergency word, we can be there in minutes to come and get you. We just want to make sure you’re safe, and this would go a long way into easing my concerns about your safety.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“But it would still make _me_ feel better.” Trent said softly; not apposed to some gentle manipulation in this case. It really _was_ the only solid plan they had come up with so far. “Please just let us help.”

“Fine, but I’m warning you not to show up out of the blue. You have no idea how badly that could go down for me; _especially_ if father finds out you’re gay.”

“You never told your parents about Hummel?” Sebastian asked; quirking an eyebrow as he read between the lines of Blaine’s warning.

“Are you crazy?” Blaine asked; shaking his head. “They already want me in conversion therapy; if they even suspected I had a boyfriend they’d _castrate_ me.” Trent looked pained at that admission from the younger boy, and Sebastian’s heart clenched at the thought of Blaine being in danger in his own home. His own parent’s might have been shitty, but at least they accepted him for who he was.

“I promise that I won’t come unless you miss a check in or text me the emergency word.” Trent said softly. “My dad has also said that he and mum would come with me too; so that we’d have back up if things went sideways. The last thing I want is to put you in danger Dev. You _know_ this.”

“Fine.” Blaine pouted and the boy scribbled down three words on a scrap of paper; handing them to the senior; who snorted at a common theme.

“Which is which?” Sebastian asked; reading the paper over Trent’s shoulder.

“Lumos for the morning, _obviously_.” Blaine replied; rolling his eyes. “Nox for the evening, and Dementor for emergencies.”

“ _Obviously_.” Sebastian drawled; an eyebrow raised in amusement.

“Promise me you’ll use them.” Trent asked of the younger boy; meeting his eyes. “Please promise me that you’ll text me if you need to, no matter the time.”

“I promise.” Blaine said sincerely; finally seeing how close Trent was to the edge. “Now can we get on with the rest of what we’re here for?”

“I think that’s a good idea.” Sebastian replied; cutting off whatever Trent was going to say in response.

* * *

“I need to talk to you.” Beat said when Wes opened the door to his old dorm. Things had been tense between them all week; Wes’s pride having taken a hit from being forced out of his dorm; but Beat considered this an essential conversation, and he knew that _someone_ had to make Wes see sense before anyone else ended up getting hurt.

“I have nothing to say to you.” The older boy bit out; attempting to close the door, but being prevented from doing so by Beat’s foot. “Fuck off Windsor.” He growled.

“It’s about Blaine.” Beat replied quickly; unfazed by Wes’s anger.

“When is it not?” Was the sarcastic reply.

“Fuck you Montgomery.” Beat snapped back. “I’ve done nothing wrong and you’ve treated me like shit all week. We both want what’s best for him, so _please_ , just cut the bullshit and let me in.” Wes glowered but opened the door; admitting the small boy into the dorm. Beat sat on the edge of Trent’s bed and crossed his arms; raising an eyebrow at Wes who refused to even look at him. “You know I could always go to Trent for advice, and then you can deal with him chewing you out for an hour.” He deadpanned. “I came to you because you’ve roomed with Blaine for almost two years, and I’d _thought_ you might want to help me make next year as painless for him as possible.”

“You don’t need my help.” Wes said bitterly; finally sitting down on his bed.

“Then what am I doing _here_?” Beat asked. “You think I _enjoy_ dealing with stubborn assholes like you? Do you think I’m here for _sport_? I need your help Montgomery, and I’d have thought; given the situation, that you might be more inclined to give it.” Wes couldn’t help but wince at Beat’s cold tone, and the similarities between him and his older cousin were growing more apparent as the weeks went on. He also knew that Beat was right; he just didn’t want to admit it.

“What do you need?”

“Information. You promised me a full rundown of his triggers, his coping mechanisms and the reoccurring themes of his nightmares. I’ve picked up on a lot over the last few weeks, but I still haven’t had the full story. The first thing I need to know is why he climbed into that fucking cupboard and almost froze himself to death.”

“He was in there because I took away his stash.” Wes replied; guilt across his face and his head hung low. His anger was gone now, and he could see that Beat was struggling with the situation; despite his outward claims.

“What stash?”

“He used to hide a set of jogging pants and a hoodie in there; along with some bedding. But I took it away a few weeks ago.”

“Why?” Beat asked incredulously.

“Because he should have felt comfortable in the dorm, and it’s too cold down there for him to be sleeping.”

“Let me get this straight.” Beat growled; anger coming to the surface. “You took away a safe space for him to satisfy your own _pride_? You felt sorry for yourself because Blaine didn’t want to be around you, so you _forced_ him back into the dorms?” When Wes didn’t answer, Beat growled in frustration. “Jesus Christ Montgomery; no wonder the pair of you are a fucking _mess_. This was a mistake; I think I better go to Trent.”

“No wait!” Wes cried out when Beat got up to leave. “Please. Trent doesn’t know _everything_.”

“Then you better start talking, and quickly; and if I hear anything else, I don’t like; please be warned that I won’t hold my tongue.” Beat said; sitting back down with a glare.

“He has eight major triggers and a handful of minor ones.” Wes said hurriedly; as if scared that Beat was going to leave again. “Five are simple; crowds, the dark, parking lots at night, his name and sharp movements in his personal space.”

“And the other three?”

“People getting in his face when they’re angry; _especially_ if they don’t trust him. The word; stupid, again if it’s directed at him in anger, and…”

“Go on.”

“He doesn’t like his scars. Not the mention of them, not contact with them, not the sight of them. He won’t change in front of you until he’s ready, and he will shut down if you ask about them.”

“So, they’re the big eight. Pretty expectable, what about the minor ones?”

“You’ve seen most of them already.”

“Any I should watch out for in particular?”

“Do you need to ask?” Wes questioned. Beat knew that he was referencing Blaine’s breakdown over Wes’s decision to take a gap year.

“Fine, what about his stimuli, or coping mechanisms?”

“Music.” Wes said instantly. “Any kind. Whether he’s drumming his fingers on something, or doodling in his notebook.”

“What else?”

“He pulls his hair a lot; but we try to not let him do it. He clenches his fists and his toes sometimes too; especially if he’s nervous, and he boxes if he’s frustrated. He tends to prefer small spaces; and will more often than not squeeze himself into a corner, and he likes the smell of my wash powder. He’ll pull the covers over his head if he’s feeling self-conscious or upset.”

“So that somewhat explains the cupboard.” Beat replied; starting to note everything down in a small book. “Wes nodded but the younger boy didn’t see it; too busy scratching away with a pencil.

“He likes the Warbler commons, and goes there a lot if he can’t sleep.” Beat bit back another growl at the thought of Wes taking that away from Blaine, and vowed that he would ensure a stash was placed back into the office at his earliest convenience.

“What about his nightmares?” He asked instead; forcing himself away from the subject.

“The attack, obviously. Sometimes his parents hurting him, sometimes it’s about what was said in court. He dreams about when he first woke up from the coma, and he has nightmares about getting kicked out of school for not being smart enough.”

“Again, what the fuck has been going through your head over the last few weeks?” Beat growled. “Because you triggered that one when you basically told him the same thing.”

“I know.” Wes choked out. “Don’t think I don’t know _exactly_ how much I’ve screwed up.” Beat sighed and decided again to let it go for now. It wouldn’t do any of them any good to be fighting over the past.

“What else?”

“Conversion.” Wes replied. “He’s terrified of it.”

“Aren’t we all?” Beat muttered bitterly. “Anything else I should know?”

“Don’t feed him caffeine if he’s overly anxious. Give him Rooibos tea instead, black with a teaspoon of honey. He prefers X-Men over The Avengers, Star Wars over Star Trek, and Harry Potter over everything else. If he’s stressed put on Lord of the Rings, if he’s sad go for Harry Potter, but not the fourth one because it deviates too far from the books. Gandalf will always be better than Dumbledore, and Snape is a bastard. He likes Prisoner of Azkaban the best because of Lupin.”

“Got it.” Beat said; his messy shorthand now spilling across several pages of the diary. “What about comfort foods?”

“Cinnamon rolls, cronuts, basically anything sweet and made out of pastry. Red Vines over Twizzlers, and Bugles over Cheetos. He doesn’t like Hershey’s, and peanut butter makes him feel queasy, even the smell of it will have him retching. Thai food over Indian, but Indian over Chinese; Filipino food above everything. Pasta above pizza, but definitely pizza on movie nights.” Wes grimaced at the next bit. “He likes Squirt.” Beat’s nose crinkled in his own distaste but he noted it down anyway. “Is there anything else you want to know?” Beat sighed and put down the book; rubbing his eyes.

“I need to know how to avoid the same pitfalls you have fallen into. I need you to be really honest with me, and with yourself Wes. I want to help him, but I can’t do that if I continue where you left off.”

“Can you give me a couple of days?” Wes asked; his head hanging and his shoulders hunched.

“Of course.” Beat replied kindly. “But I need the _truth_ Wes, I’m sorry I got mad at you, and I know you have done so much for him, but Blaine needs a different kind of help now, and I’m still trying to learn what that is. I respect you too much to truly be angry with you, and I’m sorry that I bit. I can’t even begin to imagine what you have gone through with him.”

“I screwed up.”

“We all make mistakes, and you _shouldn’t_ have been coping with this on your own. Both you and Trent have done amazing things for him; you’ve just lost your way a little. He’ll always need you Wes. Never doubt that.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I screwed up.” Wes replied bitterly; and Beat moved over to the other bed; tucking himself into Wes’s side and wrapping his arms around him.

“You have to forgive yourself if you have any chance of moving forwards.” Beat whispered. “How many times have you heard from the rest of the guys that it wasn’t your fault? We all had a part to play that night, and I couldn’t have helped; fighting Sebastian. I put your nerves on edge even before Blaine even got in the ring, and your reaction should have been predictable to any of us who know you. I shouldn’t have fought; Blaine shouldn’t have fought. _You_ shouldn’t have shouted; and any of the guys should have intervened before it went too far. You need to stop this Wes, otherwise you’ll end up hating yourself, and pushing him away, and that is the _last_ thing he needs. It’s the last thing _either_ of you needs.”

“When did you get so smart?” Wes asked quietly; pulling the smaller boy closer into his side and resting his head on Beat’s shoulder; trying to wrap his head around the fact that he had just handed over Blaine’s care to the small boy. He felt lighter, he realised. Like a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders, and he found that he could breathe better than he had in _years_.

Maybe things really _could_ be okay.


	5. Honest Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, so I know that I said that I'd update this yesterday, but I kind of went off on a bit of a tangent with it, and ended up re-writing parts of this chapter. I'm up to eight chapters of this now, so expect another update this week at some point, and keep an eye out for an update to the Blue Edition as well.
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read this, I wasn't sure how well the these two versions would be received, so thank you for all of your continued support. Best wishes to you all for the New Year, and let's hope that it's better than this one has been.

“How did your session go?” Wes asked, when Trent got back to the dorm.

“Good. I think he’s as ready as I can hope for him to be. Sebastian is turning out to be a valuable asset. He had a planner drawn up in seconds, for the amount of coursework Blaine is expecting. They’re taking similar subjects, so they’re going to work on a lot of stuff together. How have you been all day?”

“Beat came to see me.”

“How did that go?” Trent asked with a grimace. “Things have been kind of awkward between you both this week.”

“He made some valid points. I’ve been selfish and blind, and I’ve let my ego get in the way of Blaine’s progress. I took his stash away from the Warbler office because I wanted him in the dorm with me. I was egotistical enough to believe that he would be okay with being around me all the time. It was a mistake made early in this whole mess, and it came back to bite me in the ass when he almost froze to death.”

“Wes…”

“No, it’s okay.” The other boy said quickly; shaking his head. “I have a lot to think about, and I need to have an honest conversation with myself. Beat wants to know how to avoid falling into the same traps, and I’m going to have to have an answer for him.”

“You really _can’t_ blame yourself for everything you know.” Trent said quietly; sitting down at the side of Wes on the other boy’s bed.

“Beat said the same thing.” Wes replied with a bitter laugh. “But it’s hard not to when I’m the direct cause for a lot of new insecurities that have been brought to the surface.”

“Just because they’re only surfacing now, doesn’t mean that they were never there before.” Trent said softly. “We all have parts of ourselves that we keep hidden. We _all_ have our own insecurities. Sometimes all it takes is one wrong comment to drag them up. You should listen to Beat you know, he’s a smart kid, and he has been through things that give him experience when dealing with situations like this.”

“He reminds me of you.” Trent smiled softly at that and wrapped Wes into a hug. He knew that his friend was still struggling with everything that was happening, and he promised himself; not for the first time that he would try to do better.

* * *

“I chewed Wes out today.” Beat said quietly as they both climbed into bed. Blaine looked over at him with wide eyes and the younger boy laughed. “Relax, he’s okay. I wasn’t _that_ vicious. I just pointed out some home truths.”

“Which were?”

“That if you need a safe space; other than the dorms, you should be allowed one; as long as we agree on where it is, so that I know where to find you if there is an emergency. So, would you like your stash returning to the Warbler office, or is there somewhere else you’d prefer?”

“You’d let me sleep away from the dorm?” Blaine asked in shock; his eyes wide.

“Like I said, as long as it was in a pre-agreed place, then yes. It’s not healthy to be trapped in here if you don’t feel comfortable. So, I will give you a couple of days to think, and then we’ll take a survival kit down together okay?” It was testament to how much this had affected Blaine; when tears started leaking from his eyes and his face was full of relief.

“Thank you.” He sobbed out. “Thank you.”

“That’s okay D.” Beat replied softly. “We can’t always help what our mind puts us through, and having somewhere you can go to be alone for a while when you feel overwhelmed is a good thing.”

“Can I stay with you tonight?” Beat’s eyes softened; his face a picture of sadness as he took in just how relieved Blaine looked at the simple idea of having somewhere to go, and he nodded; lifting the sheets up so that Blaine could curl into his side.

“I just want you to be comfortable; wherever you decide to sleep.” Beat whispered. “Whether that is up here with me, downstairs with Sebastian, or in one of the classrooms; you should never feel uncomfortable or guilty about where you lay your head for eight hours of the day. I want this next year to pass as painlessly as possible for the both of us, so whatever you need; all you have to do is ask. I’m not Wes, I won’t get frustrated or angry with you if you need to box, or to sleep somewhere else. I know what it’s like to need an escape. I just ask that we go about all of this sensibly, and reduce as much risk as we can, so that I know you’re safe.” Blaine tucked his head into Beat’s collarbone; unable to find the words to convey his gratitude.

In the end Beat _understood_.

He had felt the need for a safe space himself; known what it was like to not feel entirely comfortable in his own home. He understood the need for outlets, and he knew that sometimes Blaine wouldn’t be able to help himself.

He _knew_ all of this, and understood. And Blaine had never felt more gratitude towards Trent than he did right then. The older boy had forced him to introduce himself; and it was the best decision he’d ever made.

* * *

“Do you think we should be doing more?” Jeff asked quietly; sitting on the edge of his bed; his shoulders hunched in and his fingers picking at his nails.

“Like what?” Nick replied quietly; putting down the book he was reading and sitting up against his headboard.

“I don’t know, but _something_.” Jeff bit out. “This doesn’t feel right. It hasn’t felt right since the beginning of the year, and I don’t feel comfortable not doing _anything_.”

“Come here.” Jeff whispered lifting up the sheets and letting his boyfriend curl into his side. “You’ve kept _me_ on the straight and narrow all year. That in turn has meant we’ve both been there when the rest of the guys have needed us. I can’t even imagine what would have happened if you’d allowed me to shut down the other week. You do more than enough Jeff, and I promise you that if there _was_ anything else that we could be doing, we would get told.”

“But…”

“No buts my love.” Nick whispered; pressing a kiss to the side of Jeff’s head. “I made myself a promise that night; when we went to Columbus, that I would do more to help Blaine. That I wouldn’t let him down again, and that I would do better.”

“We’ve all made that promise to ourselves over the last two years.” Jeff muttered bitterly.

“And we always break it, because we all ask too much of ourselves when it comes to _him_.” Nick replied; burying his face into Jeff’s hair. “There are some things that we just can’t give him, and we need to accept that. If Blaine needed something from us, I have no doubts that he, Beat or Trent would bring it to our attention. You heard what he said on Tuesday night, he needs space, and we have to prepared to give him that, in order to help what is already a messed-up situation. I promise you my love that there isn’t anything else you could be doing right now.”

“Do you think we should be worrying about Trent?” Jeff whispered.

“I trust that his mom has it covered, and he’s doing better this week than he was before he took Monday off. It’s Wes I’m concerned for, but we have to hope that Trent can help; he can be a prickly bastard at the best of times, _especially_ if he’s worrying about Blaine and Trent knows how to deal with that. We’ll all be okay mi amor, things will work out.”

“I love you.” Jeff whispered; craning his neck so that his lips were almost touching his boyfriend’s, and Nick closed the gap between them; offering the only comfort Jeff would accept right now. He was sure that they would work everything out; the alternative was too painful to consider.

* * *

Blaine _hated_ Mondays.

Especially when they were grey, wet, cloudy and just generally horrible. The rain was battering against the dorm window; and the wind was causing the ancient rooftiles to clatter above their heads. He was sure that Dalton was built _just_ to annoy its students with all of it’s strange sounds, and sometimes unbearable floorplan. He was trying to study, and the noise was doing nothing for his concentration. He’d already had a crappy morning, with a double period of history followed by calculus, and he’d hoped that getting some extra study time in during his lunch break would reduce the amount he would have to do that night.

He was sure he’d caught Beat in the middle of something when he’d stormed into their dorm after eating; as the younger boy had blushed bright red; and so, he’d merely apologised, and dumped his bag by the desk before sitting himself down and trying to get some work done. It had been twenty minutes already and he’d read a grand total of six pages.

“I give up.” He growled; slamming his book closed and shoving it across the desk. Beat snorted from where he was laid across his bed on his stomach; snacking on a bag of Bugles and reading a book that he had open on his pillow. “It’s not funny.” Blaine snapped. “How the fuck am I supposed to get anything done with this absolute racket?”

“Go down to the Warbler Commons.” Beat replied with a shrug. “It’ll be quiet down there.” Blaine glanced at the time and nodded when he saw that he still had forty minutes before afternoon classes.

“Right, I’m off then. If you need me, I’ll be there.”

“I’ll come grab you just before the bell. You always lose track of time.” Beat replied offhandedly and Blaine glowered at him as he gathered up his books and stalked out of the room; slamming the door behind him.

“Can I come out now?” A voice asked from the bathroom, and Beat laughed; getting up to let his secret visitor out of their on-suite. “I thought he’d never leave.” Evan sighed in relief as he sat down on the edge of Beat’s bed.

“I’m just surprised that he missed seeing your stuff.” Beat replied with a grin; gesturing to the younger boy’s coat and bag, that had been dumped by the door. The dark-haired boy snorted and shook his head at their friend’s obliviousness.

“Now, I believe we were in the middle of something?” He asked; raising an eyebrow at Beat; who suddenly looked very nervous.

“It can wait.” The other boy said with a blush.

“It couldn’t earlier.” Evan replied with a raised eyebrow. “You pulled me away from spaghetti Monday in the dining hall.”

“Well, _you_ decided you needed the bathroom halfway through my monologue.” Beat sputtered out. Evan grinned at that; causing the older boy’s embarrassment to turn into anger.

“You’re cute when you’re angry.” He said in amusement; and Beat’s glower deepened.

“That’s really patronising.” The strawberry haired boy bit out.

“Still true though.”

“Asshole.”

“Ginger.”

“Prick.”

“Sexy.”

“Enough!” Beat snapped; growling at Evan’s smirk; which scarily mirrored his older cousin’s. “I _like_ you, okay?” He admitted angrily. “And you don’t just get to waltz in here and call me sexy or cute and then turn into my fucking cousin. I have no idea what I’m doing, and I don’t even know if I’m gay, or whether it’s just you, but you do something to me that makes me become an embarrassment to myself, whenever I’m around you. So, the _least_ you could do is hear me out without being a dick about it.” Evan’s face had dropped during Beat’s rant, and a sick feeling started to curl in the sophomore’s stomach. He hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that, but there was something in the way Evan had been smirking at him that had grated on his nerves.

“Edward…”

“Fine, I get it.” Beat snapped; turning away to hide his red face. “You don’t feel the same, so please leave me alone to my indignity.”

“It’s not that…” Evan assured quickly. “I promise you, but this has kind of come out of nowhere, and I thought you didn’t even _like_ me. I’ve been trying to get you alone all week, and all you do is throw Blaine in my direction and run. It’s not that I don’t enjoy shielding him from all the crazy that’s gone off, especially in the last few days, but I’ve been wanting to talk to you and you keep running away from me. I thought I’d upset you.”

Oh.

 _Oh_.

The realisation hit him like a freight train and he sank onto his bed; not trusting his knees to hold him up in the face of this new development. Was he really that _blind_? Had he completely passed off Evan’s opportune appearances as the younger boy’s way to help Blaine, or had he known all along and been too scared to confront the situation?

“So, you haven’t been showing up to help _him_?”

“No Ed, I’ve been trying to get to _you_.”

“Why?”

“To ask you if you wanted to grab coffee?” Evan said; raising an eyebrow in question. “With me, after school.” Beat was stunned into silence, and so all he managed to do was nod. “For the record.” Evan said; getting up and picking up his stuff. “I don’t know what I’m doing either. I just know that you’re a cool guy, and I want to get to know you. Whatever comes of this, we’ll still be friends, okay?” Beat nodded again and Evan smiled; his previous smirk gone, and replaced by something softer. “Six o’clock then, I’ll come and knock for you. Bring an umbrella.”

And just like that the freshman was gone; the door clicking closed and leaving Beat alone with nothing but his thoughts, and the sound of the rain.


	6. Coming Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope the rest of 2020 is treating you all okay. Just one day to go until we can wave goodbye to what has been a strange and difficult year for everyone. I won't be posting for the next couple of days, but I will be back in the new year with chapters for both ongoing Editions of this story. Until then; continue to look after yourselves, and try to enjoy the turn of the year; however that may look for you right now.
> 
> Happy New Year, and thank you for taking the time to read. 
> 
> Well wishes to you and yours,
> 
> Kiad xxx

“Beat wait up!” Trent called; weaving through the crowd in chase of the small sophomore, he’d been lucky enough to spot in the crowded corridor. He saw Beat glance over his shoulder and the younger boy made his way over to the edge of the hallway; squeezing himself into an alcove as students rushed past him in both directions. It was a miracle he hadn’t been trampled yet; Trent thought. “I need to talk to you about Wes.” He said when he finally reached Beat.

“What about him?” The younger boy asked; immediately going on the defensive. “If you’re going to ask me to apologise, then I’m afraid you’re going to be disappointed.”

“I wanted to say thank you, actually.” Trent replied; his eyebrows going up. “For what you said to him yesterday.”

“I said nothing he didn’t deserve to hear.” Beat replied. “You know I don’t mince words when it comes to the truth Trent, and he wasn’t exactly being accommodating.”

“I meant about reassuring him that it wasn’t his fault.”

“So did I.” Beat replied. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault Trent. We’ve all made mistakes over the last few weeks, and none of us can expect either of you to get it right all the time. Like I said, I didn’t tell him anything he didn’t deserve to hear.”

“What are you doing tonight?” Trent raised an eyebrow when Beat blushed slightly, and he knew that he was unlikely to get a truthful answer from the boy.

“I’m going out.”

“Alone?”

“With a friend.”

“With Blaine?” Trent asked suggestively; knowing he’d screwed up the second Beat’s angry eyes were on him.

“What makes you think that I would jeopardise my friendship with him like that?” He hissed. “I told you how I felt about Blaine in _confidence_ , because I was confused. I didn’t tell you so that you could throw it back in my face.”

“Beat…”

“He’s going out with _me_.” Evan said; cutting off Trent and sliding up to the pair; wrapping his arm around Beat; glowering at the senior. “I suggest that if you have a problem with that Nixon, you better move along real fast, before I demonstrate _why_ it took so long for Blaine to beat me in the ring.” Trent blushed and muttered an apology; hurrying away from the two younger boys; both of who had murder written across their faces. “I know he means well, but his mothering really rubs me up the wrong way sometimes.” Evan muttered.

“Thank you.”

“I have no doubts that you didn’t need my help.” The younger boy replied. “But I couldn’t stand by and watch him throw wild accusations around. We all see how close you and Blaine are, and all of us know what your relationship is based on.”

“Do you have a problem with it?” Beat asked; ducking his head; his anger gone and being replaced by insecurity.

“Not in the slightest. I’d dare say that you are the only thing keeping Blaine sane right now, and I know that you two share something special. Besides, we’re only getting coffee Ed, it’s a little early to be having this conversation; don’t you think?”

“Sorry.” Beat replied with a grimace. “Though I did warn you that I have no idea what I’m doing.” Evan snorted and moved his arm; flinging it around the older boy’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s get upstairs so that I can spend the next hour stressing over what I’m wearing.” He said with a grin; leading Beat back into the throng of students.

* * *

“I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up.” Trent muttered in a panic as he paced the floor of his dorm, in front of a concerned Wes. “Fuck!” He growled; spinning around and picking up his pillow; launching it at the wall. “Fucking stupid bastard.”

“What did you do?” Wes asked; forcing himself to keep his voice steady in the face of Trent’s self-directed anger.

“I implied that Beat was seeing Blaine. To Beat’s face.”

“Why?”

“Because I was trying to be funny.” Trent snapped. “Beat once told me something in confidence and I’ve just thrown it back in his face in a stupid, fucking attempt at a joke. So now Beat’s furious with me, and Lindley is furious with me, and Blaine is going to be furious with me, and Stan is probably going to disembowel me in my sleep.”

“What’s Lindley got to do with this?” Wes asked; raising an eyebrow.

“Because apparently it’s _him_ Beat is seeing.”

“Are you sure?”

“From the possessive look on Lindley’s face as he told me to back off? Yeah, I’m _sure_.”

“Well, that’s a new development.” Wes remarked; an amused expression on his face that did nothing for Trent’s anger.

“Are you fucking _done_?” The other boy snarled. “Because I’m _not_ in the mood right now.”

“Have you apologised?”

“Of course I have.”

“May I be so bold as to suggest that you go and do it again?”

“They’re going out.”

“Don’t make excuses.” Wes replied. “Come on Trent; _you’re_ supposed to be the rational one.”

“Fuck you Wes.” Trent growled; storming out of the door; slamming it behind him.

* * *

“What’s wrong?” Blaine asked; as he watched Beat get ready to go out for the evening. His roommate had told him that he was going out for coffee with Sebastian, however; the three outfits Beat had already tried on, told of a different story. “You’re kind of freaking me out.” Beat grimaced at that. The last thing he had wanted was to upset his roommate.

“Sorry.” He said quietly. “I had an argument with Trent earlier that kind of set me on edge.”

“Oh?” Blaine asked; his eyebrows raising. It wasn’t often that the two former roommates fought, and both were about as gentle as puppies, so he wondered what had happened to make Beat so upset. “Want to talk about it?”

“No.” Was Beat’s clipped answer before the younger boy sighed and sunk down onto his bed. “Yes.” He whispered; his face pained.

“What happened Prince?” Blaine asked gently. “Is this really just about Trent?”

“I got a date with Evan.” Blaine’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“That was very quick.” He remarked. “Where are you going?”

“Just out for coffee, but Trent asked what I was doing tonight, and I said that I was going out with a friend. Then he had the fucking audacity to imply that I was going out with _you_. Evan overheard and basically outed the pair of us to Trent before threatening him and staring him down.”

“But you’re already out to Trent, Beat.” Blaine said with a snort. “And I doubt that upsetting you was what was going through his mind when he did that. I understand where you’re coming from though, it’s not nice to have your decisions taken out of your own hands like that. You might want to talk to him about it tonight, so that he knows the boundaries.”

“Listen to you, Mr; _I have no relationship advice_ Anderson.” Beat said with a grin in Blaine’s direction.

“I know exactly what Trent can be like sometimes.” Blaine replied softly. “He tends to mother.”

“Evan said exactly the same thing.”

“So, is he planning on coming out to _everyone_?”

“I don’t know. He’s never really talked about having past relationships, and none of us have ever really asked. Even _I_ wasn’t completely sure when I blurted out the fact that I liked him at lunch.”

“Are you going to tell Bas?”

“Are you kidding me?” Beat asked incredulously. “According to him, the only person I’ve ever had feelings for is _you_ , and _that_ is how it’s going to stay.” Blaine snorted at that and both boys looked up when there was a knock at the door. Beat’s eyes went wide and he looked down at the outfit he was wearing. “I can’t go out like _this_.” He hissed.

“You look _fine_ Prince.” Blaine replied; glancing over the boy. He was in a pair of tight jeans and a red flannel shirt; the sleeves rolled up and showing off the slight definition of his muscles. A pair of red converse and several leather wrist straps finished the look; and he had left his hair in its naturally curly state. “Go answer the door before he starts to think you’ve stood him up.” Beat nodded and opened the door; his wide eyes turning into a glower when instead of Evan; he found Trent on the other side.

“I wanted to apologise.” Trent said softly. “I’m sorry Beat, I was trying to be funny, but I know that I hit a sore spot. I’m sorry I upset you.” Beat glanced back at Blaine, who merely shrugged. He was leaving this for the younger boy to sort out.

“Fine, apology accepted.” Beat ground out with a huff; turning back to Trent with a shake of his head. “I can’t stay mad at you for long.”

“So, we’re okay?” Trent asked tentatively.

“Yes Trent, we’re okay.” Beat replied with a nod. “Though I expect you to make apologies to both Evan and Blaine as well. It wasn’t just me your joke was aimed at, and I’m not entirely certain that Evan meant to out himself like that.”

“I didn’t.” Came a voice from behind Trent, and the senior spun around to see a nervous freshman holding a single rose and trying to hide a faint blush. He was in a navy-blue shirt and black dress pants, and his dark hair was effortlessly ruffled; as though he’d merely brushed his hands through it as it dried.

“You look hot.” Was the first thing out of Beat’s mouth, and his eyes went wide as he realised that the complement had slipped out accidently.

“Thanks, so do you.” Evan replied bashfully.

“I want him back at a reasonable time.” Blaine said; coming to stand behind Beat and crossing his arms. “I like you Lindley, but don’t think I won’t be gunning for your ass if you keep him out half the night.”

“Devon…” Beat groaned in embarrassment.

“You do realise that as the older of us both, it should be Ed that you are warning?” Evan asked; raising an eyebrow.

“I’m warning _you_.” Blaine replied sternly. “Back before curfew, the _pair_ of you.”

“I promise.” Evan replied soberly with a nod.

“Enjoy your evening.” Blaine said softly; turning to Beat with a smile. “Don’t forget what I said.”

“See you later Devon.” Beat whispered; giving the older boy a quick hug, before going over to his date; accepting the rose with a blush. Blaine and Trent watched them go, with small smiles and Blaine stepped back from the doorway.

“Are you coming in?” He asked; raising an eyebrow at Trent.

“Are you sure…”

“Get in here Trent. We have things to discuss.” The senior nodded and followed Blaine back into the dorm. He knew that he was now dealing with the ‘protector’ side of his friend, and that he would more than likely get an earful from the younger boy, for what he’d said to Beat.

To be fair, it was nothing less than he deserved.

* * *

Ethan knocked on the dorm door and shifted nervously from foot to foot. He wasn’t completely sure what he was doing, but he needed to get something off his chest, and the tall boy who answered the door with ruffled hair and bleary green eyes, was the only person he thought would understand.

“I need to talk to you about Evan and Beat.” He said softly. “It’s important.” Sebastian studied him for a moment, nodded and stepped back; admitting him into his room, and Ethan hoped he was doing the right thing.


	7. First Dates and Reconciliations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

“Are you okay?” Evan asked softly, as he watched his date shift in his seat for the second time in ten minutes. Beat seemed jumpy, and neither of them had really spoken much; the gaps being filled by an awkward silence.

“Just nervous.” Beat admitted with a grimace.

“So am I, and it’s silly because we _know_ each other.” The pair of them laughed at that and some of the awkwardness was dispelled. They sipped on their coffee and started to relax as they got used to being in each other’s presence alone.

“How is your sister doing?” Beat asked quietly when he felt the silence becoming unnerving again.

“She’s okay. School is hard for her, but next year my parents are thinking about sending her to Crawford.”

“It’s a good school.” Beat said with a nod. “And Trent’s mom does some work for Crawford. If she needs assistance, they will give it to her. It isn’t like Dalton; Headmaster Montgomery is great, but he fails his students when it comes to extra support.”

“That’s a relief to know.” Evan said; blowing out a breath. “I’ll pass it on to mom and dad.”

“She’ll be looked after Evan; I promise you that.”

“Do you know Nixon’s mom?”

“She helped me through a very difficult time.” Beat admitted with a small nod. “I don’t think it’s a secret that my family are all a bunch of crazies; you just have to look at Stan to be able to tell you that. My mother has schizophrenia, and Mary helped me through a lot of the stuff I was dealing with. Trent mothers because he looks up to his own mom so much, and I think one day he’ll make a very good therapist; he can just be a bit too emotional at times.”

“He was out of line earlier.”

“Perhaps, but in a way, so were _you_.” Beat internally grimaced at how blunt that had sounded; but Evan didn’t seem all too perturbed; he merely raised an eyebrow in question. “I wasn’t planning on telling anyone until I knew that this would work. You took that decision out of my hands, and it kinda hit a nerve.”

“I’m sorry.” Evan said sincerely. “I didn’t realise you felt like that.”

“I’m not a confident person. I struggle with my feelings, and I wasn’t lying when I said that I have no idea what I am doing. I’ve been trying to work out what I am for so long, and I’ve only ever felt like this for one other person. I didn’t even know if you were gay when I blurted it out at lunch.”

“It’s okay.” The younger boy said softly; reaching across the table to take Beat’s hand when he saw that he was getting worked up. “I’m sorry I outed the pair of us to Trent, you’re right, it was a decision we should have made together. This is a first coffee date for goodness sake; we shouldn’t even be discussing this yet. And, you have no need to put a label on your sexuality if you don’t want to; being gay and proud is all well and good, but where does that leave those like you, whose sexuality is a little more complicated than that? I think of myself as bisexual, but that might change when I get older. Sexuality can be fluid Ed; there’s no rush to put a label on it, or to work out who you are. Just do what feels _right_.”

“You’re really good at this.” Beat said with a blush.

“In our house, we have a rule about honest conversations.” Evan replied with a shrug. “My parents are supportive of both me _and_ my sister, and seeing as I’m the one with the fewer problems, they tend to just accept whatever I feel like calling myself on a particular day. It can seem kind of messed up, but it works for _us_.”

“I guess I’ve never really had anyone to talk to about this stuff before, I learnt everything I know from Trent, Blaine and the internet, and seeing as the first two are out and proud, and sure of who they are, and the third is full of so much conflicting information that it all gets muddied; is there any wonder I’m a little behind?”

“You’re not _behind_ Ed. _All_ of us go through our own journeys at our own pace. There are some who are completely sure of who they are, and that is great for them, I envy them in fact. But then at the other end of the spectrum are those who take _years_ struggling with their identity. This is the time in your life when you _should_ be experimenting; working out who you are as you go along. Cut your hair, grow it back; paint your nails, kiss whoever takes your fancy and be thirteen different versions of yourself in twelve weeks. There is no rush.” Beat was looking down into his coffee with a small frown; this seemed like a heavy conversation for a first date, and it wasn’t what he’d been expecting when he first walked out of Dalton that evening.

“Sorry.” He said with a grimace. “I guess I’m just a little overwhelmed right now. Can we talk about something else?”

“Sure.” Evan replied with a disarming smile; his demeanour shifting to a light and playful front. “How about we go watch a movie? There’s the new Iron Man film out, if you’re interested in superheroes.”

“What do _you_ like?” Beat asked; too embarrassed to admit that he’d never a superhero movie outside of Warbler sleepouts.

“Anything that has fast cars or explosions.” Evan replied with a laugh. “I’ll probably watch most things unless they’re really sappy chick-flicks, and I’m a huge horror fan.” Beat laughed at that; not surprised in the slightest.

“Your choice then.” He said with a grin. “I really _will_ watch anything, _even_ sappy chick-flicks.”

* * *

Whilst his roommate and friend were sharing a movie together, and Beat was getting introduced to the madness that was the Marvel Universe; Blaine had Trent sitting in an uncomfortable silence; his eyebrow raised as he waited for the senior to crack.

“I want to apologise again.” Trent said, when the silence became unbearable. “You have no idea how much I screwed up Blaine, and I have ended up messing with your head because of my own insecurities. You should have felt safe enough to tell me when things were getting muddled, and when Beat told me that you’d been hiding things to try and live up to what Wes and I wanted you to be… Well let’s just say my mom pointed out a few home truths. I’ve been projecting on to you Devon, and I can’t tell you how sorry I am that I didn’t realise.”

“I’m guessing that in your eyes, the only reason I’m not more pissed off is because my head is too screwed up to understand properly.”

“I wouldn’t put it like that…”

“But that _is_ what you mean.” Blaine stated, rather than asked. “To which my reply is… Fuck you Trent. Fuck you for destroying what confidence you _do_ have in yourself, and for second guessing everything that you have done for me. _Yes_ , I’ll admit that you may have caused a few problems; there are still some things that I don’t understand, and there are still things I’m feeling insecure about. But there is no _way_ you broke more than you fixed. I was _suicidal_ , do you understand that? When I got here; I had no intentions of living, and you and Wes dug me out of that very dark hole; without support and without proper training… _You_ did that.”

“But…”

“I’m not finished.” Blaine growled. “You are about to sit there and tell me that you have been projecting, and you’ve done everything wrong and give me a whole bullshit speech into how much you’ve hurt me. Well fuck you because I’m tired of listening to that shit. I love the pair of you so much, and these past couple of weeks especially have been killing me. I hate fighting with you, I hate confrontation in general, and although _I_ was the cause of a lot of problems by being idiotic enough to fight, _you_ took several steps back when I needed you the most. I came back on Sunday night, only because I thought I’d be able to sit down and talk to you, and you weren’t here.”

“My mother…”

“Made you take a mental health day. I _get_ that. And yes, maybe I’m being selfish and needy, but a text would have been nice. You avoided me all week, whilst I was doing nothing but fighting off worried Warblers who, thanks to the screwed-up way my head works; all think I’m about to top myself. It’s been _exhausting_.”

“Blaine…”

“I’ve _missed_ you Trent.” Blaine whispered; sinking down onto his bed and rubbing his eyes. “ _And_ I miss Wes.”

“That’s perfectly understandable.” Trent said softly; taking a seat next to Blaine and pulling the younger boy into his arms. “You both shared a room for so long, of _course_ you’re going to get a little separation anxiety.”

“Then how is keeping your distance supposed to help?” Blaine asked hollowly.

“Because in all honesty, we weren’t sure where we stood with you. We weren’t sure whether you still wanted us around as much. You _asked_ us to back off Dev.”

“I didn’t ask you to completely avoid me though. I didn’t ask you to run away every time you saw me in the halls.” Trent winced at that.

“I wasn’t running _away_ from you.” He said softly. “I was running _towards_ Beat. Every time Lindley has shown up this week; Beat has ducked away, and I’ve been practically chasing him around the school, trying to get an update on how you are both doing.”

“Why not ask _me_?”

“Because like I said, I wasn’t sure where we stood D.” Trent said softly. Blaine seemed deep in thought; staring down at his hands.

“I’m confused too.” He admitted in a small voice. “I didn’t know whether you guys even wanted to be my friends anymore after what happened after Fight Club. I wouldn’t blame you if you ran for the hills because I was too much to handle.”

“Never.” Trent said sternly; pulling the younger boy back into his arms. “We have been through so much together D, why would you think we would abandon you _now_?”

“Because my head is so screwed up that I hurt Wes.” Blaine whispered. “You _told_ me… In the library, the morning after I had gone for coffee with Kurt. You _told_ me that I would never hurt him, that I would never lash out at him, and yet that is exactly what I did. I don’t even remember doing it, or what decisions I made leading up to me ending up downstairs. All I remember is the blood, and the anger, and that scares me.”

“Of _course,_ it’s going to scare you D.” Trent said softly. “I would be worried if it didn’t. You lashed out because you were still coming down from the adrenaline high of fighting, and Wes had been shouting at you for almost twenty minutes. If I’m honest, I would have decked him after five. You had every reason to hit him, and _keep_ hitting him; and instead, you threw one punch and ran. That says a lot about who you are D, and I promise you that all of us understand why you did it; _especially_ Wes.”

“I just wanted it to stop.” Blaine whimpered. “I wanted to go to sleep, I wanted to cry, I wanted to curl up in bed and watch a movie. I wanted all of that, and instead I was watching my dad scream in my face, about not being good enough.”

“You had a flashback?” Trent asked; pieces of the puzzle clicking into place with Blaine’s nod. “Then I hope you know how proud I am of you for throwing that punch.” He said sincerely. “You were seeing your father and you still had the courage to lash out. That takes _guts_ Blaine.”

“But it was Wes…”

“But that _isn’t_ what you were seeing.” Trent shot back. “I am genuinely impressed that it didn’t end up with you in the midst of a breakdown. Instead, you chose to _fight_ , and that is why I’m proud of you.”

“ _I_ don’t feel proud in me.”

“And that too is totally understandable.”

“All I have wanted thee past few weeks, is for everything to go back to normal, and every time things start getting better, I end up doing something to screw it all up. I just wanted a quiet end to the year, to say goodbye to you guys, and to go to New York for Nationals. What I’ve had instead, is setback after setback, meaning that you guys have been getting increasingly worried, and none of you have been able to enjoy your senior year and now, I’ve screwed up the setlist so much, I doubt we will even place at Nationals. I’m just so tired of going through the motions and nothing changing.”

“That’s life though D.” Trent said gently. “Nothing ever goes how we plan it, and we just have to take the rough with the smooth. I believe in our setlist, and so does Wes; we wouldn’t be singing it otherwise. You are an amazing songwriter, and with Sebastian’s help with Beat’s song, and the stripped-down number that you wrote us last week, I have no doubts that we will place, and place _well_.”

“Are you saying that because you believe it, or are you saying that because it’s _me_?” Blaine asked, and Trent figured it was a fair question. An unnecessary one though.

“No Devon, I’m saying that because it’s _true_. Do you honestly think that Wright wouldn’t have kicked up a fuss before now if he also didn’t believe in it? The rest of the team is on board D, and that rarely happens with _anything_.”

* * *

In the end it had turned out to be a great evening, and as promised Evan dropped him off at his door before curfew; giving him a small peck on the cheek and turning his face a bright red; just in time for Blaine to open said door to catch them. The younger boy escaped down the hallway; laughing, as Beat had to suffer the indignity of Blaine raising an amused eyebrow at his blush.

“I take it things went well?” The older boy asked; ushering his roommate into the dorm.

“It was nice.” Beat replied coyly; knowing that he wouldn’t get away with it for long.

“Just nice?” He wavered; watching Blaine’s amused eyes rake over his ruffled hair and soaked shoes.

“Okay, it was amazing.” He said with a blush and a wide smile; caving under the older boy’s dark eyes. “We had coffee and then he took me to see Iron Man at the cinema.”

“I’m happy for you.” Blaine said softly; not prying any further. Beat looked happy, and so that meant that _he_ was happy. “Now go and get into the shower and out of those wet clothes before you catch your death of cold.”

“Sir, yes sir!” Beat said; throwing a salute in his roommate’s direction; grinning when Blaine broke down into laughter.


	8. Enlightenment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some light-hearted banter between our two favourite cousins today. I must say that I'm really starting to enjoy writing this Edition. Just wait for chapter 11, I haven't been able to stop grinning, writing it, and I can't wait to post it for you guys.

The rest of the week passed quickly for everyone; and soon the weekend had come around and they were back in full rehearsal. With only two weeks left, everyone had started to stress out, and it was only through the cool heads of Sebastian, Thad and David that any of them managed to get anything done.

“I must say that I prefer this song to Kings.” Logan said with a nod in Blaine’s direction, after they had run through the choreography for the new, second song. “I felt like I kept messing up on the third chorus.”

“That’s because you _were_.” Sebastian drawled from one of the couches; where he was watching the group run through their steps. “You were at least half a beat out.”

“What do the rest of you think?” Blaine asked; remembering Mary’s advice from the previous week, and deciding, rather boldly to act on it in an open forum. “Do you guys not think it’s a bit personal for Nationals?” The rest of the group shot looks at each other and Grant eventually spoke up from the second row.

“I think it’s exactly what it needs to be.” He said softly. “It’s original, emotional and shows off three of our strongest voices. It’s a big piece that is deceptively stripped back, and it highlights the best of the talent in this group. Our whole setlist is quite a feat actually, with the last song being so dependant on dance, our first being a mash-up and this one being so raw, it should prove to the judges how versatile we are as a group.”

“I agree.” Logan replied. “We are always going to struggle up against other choirs; simply because we choose to keep it acapella; but this year, our setlist really _does_ showcase the best of us, and I think that’s something the judges will recognise.”

“I just don’t want to let you guys down by making us perform something that could be frowned upon.”

“ _Please_.” Evan scoffed with an eye roll from his place next to Grant. “As if the other show choirs _don’t_ have their leads undressing each other with their eyes the whole time they're on stage. The lyrics are empowering, and the complete opposite from what they will be expecting. You three just have to be sure that you’re going to manage to keep it together when you’re singing it.”

“We will be fine.” Wes said quietly with a nod. “Right?” He turned to see Blaine and Trent smiling back at him, and the rest of the group blew sighs of relief at the obvious lack of tension between the three.

Beat and Sebastian had made them sit down and have some _very_ honest and lengthy conversations over the course of the past week, and many of the cracks which had been showing not even a fortnight ago, had started to heal. Blaine and Beat were still intent on rooming until the end of the year, but the resentment which Wes had felt over the situation had now gone; partly in thanks to the fact that rooming with Trent had done _him_ the world of good. Gone were the sleepless or disturbed nights, and seeing Blaine flourish under Beat’s watchful eyes had taken away a lot of the worry he had been feeling about Blaine managing after the summer.

He knew that things would likely never be the same between them, but he was also learning that it might not be a bad thing _either_. He had admitted to himself that Blaine just didn’t need the level of support he’d been trying to give anymore, and that was _okay_. The change to their _relationship_ was okay. Blaine would always have a friend in him, to ask for support or advice if he needed it; but the younger boy didn’t need as much attention as he once had.

It was starting to feel _healthy_.

The only point of dissention, was the fact that Beat had re-established Blaine’s emergency stash; now located back in the Warbler office, and containing far more items than it once had. A hot water bottle; several handwarmers; two quilts, three pillows, a journal, a phone charger, a pile of warm clothing, and a small stash of food, meant that he would be able to sleep down there without the previous dangers. Wes had given his opinion that Blaine still needed to learn to sleep in the dorms, in preparation for college; but Beat had stood his ground on the fact that Blaine needed somewhere to go if he felt overwhelmed. Sebastian had come down in the support of his cousin, and so Wes had been outvoted.

“Are you okay?” Blaine asked quietly; as the group fell out of formation for a quick break.

“Yeah, I think I am.” Wes replied with a smile. “Are you?”

“I’m better than I have been.” Blaine said with a nod. “I think the next few weeks are going to be equal parts hard, and weird; but I’m not scared about being here without you guys anymore. I think I’m going to be okay.”

“Then that’s all I need to hear.” The older boy replied with a smile. “Though please promise that you’ll phone me if you need to.”

“Always.” Blaine promised with a nod.

* * *

It was several hours into the day, that Sebastian approached his younger cousin; intent on having a talk about the information Ethan had provided him on Monday.

“I think it’s time you and I had a discussion.” He said; dropping into the couch next to a worn-out Beat. The rest of rehearsals had been brutal for the younger boy, as they concentrated on the last song; and Beat’s direction of the group; and it was clear that everyone was ready for bed.

“About what?”

“About where you went on Monday night.” Sebastian replied casually; studying his fingernails in a movement reminiscent to his mother. “About why I had to find out from Pike that you and Lindley were out on a _date_ of all things.” Beat growled at that and threw a disgusted glance in the blond-boy’s direction. Ethan winced as he saw the look and he ducked out of the room; hiding himself amongst a large group of boys; who were filing out at the same time.

“He needs to learn to keep his fucking mouth shut.” Beat hissed; viciously. “And _you_ need to learn that you have no say in what I do in my spare time. I’m getting sick of reminding you that I _don’t_ need a babysitter.”

“I’m just saying that you need to be careful.” Sebastian replied softly. “It’s not Lindley I’m opposed to, more like the fact that you shouldn’t be flaunting it around town, unless you want to be asking for trouble. Like you told me, Ohio _isn’t_ Paris; you need to be careful here, just see to it that you are both safe.” Beat was taken aback by that; not expecting that line of attack from his cousin. He’d expected Sebastian to instead berate him for his choice of partner; or to call him out for not saying anything earlier; but instead, what he got, was Sebastian being _caring_.

“We’ll be fine.” He said; dismissing his cousin’s concerns.

“Yeah, and Anderson probably thought the same thing before he got his head caved in.” Sebastian drawled back; pulling a small gasp from him. “At least make it a double date with Niff next time. I’d feel better knowing that you were out as a group instead of on your own.”

“Sebastian’s right.” Blaine said softly; sitting down at the other side of Beat and throwing an apologetic glance at the two. “I’m sorry for eavesdropping, but you need to listen to him Prince. I _didn’t_ think that I would be anything but fine that night; despite the fact that I’d been dealing with those bullies for a long time before it happened. It didn’t even cross my mind when you got back on Monday night, all because I was so happy for you. I don’t want to be in danger of overstepping; but you really _do_ need to be careful.”

“Why don’t _we_ make it a double date next time Killer?” Sebastian asked; wiggling his eyebrows in Blaine’s direction; causing the other boy to blush and roll his eyes fondly.

“You wish Satan.”

“Oh, so I _do_ have a nickname?” Sebastian said with a laugh. “I like it; it’s fitting.”

“You have several, but most are inappropriate for Prince’s young ears.” Blaine muttered with a snort. “He shouldn’t have to listen to me calling his cousin a bastard.” Sebastian laughed loudly at that; and the tension between the two of them disappeared. “Look Prince,” Blaine said; ignoring the older of the two cousins, and instead turning his attention to his roommate. “the last thing any of us want, is to see you or Evan get hurt. And though I know that you can both more than look after yourselves; boxing skills won’t do much good if you come up against someone who is tooled. _Especially_ if there are several of them. All we’re asking is that you just be discreet; for your own protection.”

“I get where you’re both coming from, but the world is changing.” Beat said softly.

“Not in Ohio it isn’t.” Blaine replied; his voice bordering on stern; trying to get through to the younger boy. “This is not New York, or LA, where the more progressive generation live; this is _Ohio_ , and it is still dangerous, after all; Kurt came to Dalton because his bully threatened to _kill_ him. Yes, things might be changing, but the bigotry isn’t going to die out overnight. All we’re asking is that you are careful.”

“Fine, no more dates on our own.” Beat huffed out; crossing his arms. “But if you guys _are_ going to tag along; at least sit at another table so that we don’t have to be subjected to the pair of you making cow eyes at one another all night.” Blaine’s face softened and he leaned over to hug Beat.

The first concerns had crossed his mind on Wednesday, after one of his discussions with Trent and Wes. Beat and Evan were only young, and Beat was so _small_. The pair of them could fight; their respective matches in the ring had proven that; but as Blaine himself had learnt; a punch was no match for a blade; and he would never forgive himself if Beat got hurt because he’d encouraged dangerous behaviour.

“What’s this about a double date?” Evan asked; making his way over to the couch; having finished talking to Grant and Daniel; both of whom had gotten out of there once their conversation was over; not wanting Wes to decide to have them run through the harmonies for another hour. Most of the team had dispersed; and the four of them plus; Trent, Wes and Logan were the last in the common room now.

“Just that if they _do_ decide to start dating, that they spare me the blushes of having to watch the pair of them suck each other off.”

“Edward Windsor!” Blaine shrieked in alarm; his face turning red instantly.

“I think you mixed a few words up there, Shortcake.” Sebastian said with a chuckle. “The term is; to be sucking each other’s _faces_ off.”

“No, it isn’t.” Beat said with a straight face. “I know what I meant.” He watched his older cousin colour slightly and considered it a success. It wasn’t every day _he_ got the better of Sebastian. He managed to stay stoic for less than a minute; before falling about with laughter; Evan joining in, followed by Sebastian and then finally; Blaine.

“Who would have thought that you could be such a dirty little shit.” Sebastian said with a grin; once the laughter had subsided and a smack up the side of his head; showed that Trent had heard every word; and was none too impressed with the four of them _or_ their language.

“Run!” Blaine shouted; and the four of them took off; scrambling over furniture and Blaine grabbing Sebastian’s hand on instinct as they sprinted down the corridor and towards the stairs; laughing the entire way.

* * *

“I realised something today.” Wes said softly as he and Trent got ready for bed.

“That Sebastian is completely besotted with Blaine, and vice versa?” Trent asked; raising an eyebrow. “Because I could have told you that at least a fortnight ago.”

“No, although now you mention it… did you see the look Blaine shot him when he suggested a double date?”

“I did indeed.” Trent replied. “And I will take full responsibility when it all goes to hell in a handbasket.” Wes snorted at that. “So, what _did_ you realise?”

“That he seems happy.”

“Wes…”

“No, it’s okay.” The other boy reassured quickly; when Trent’s sad tone proved that the other boy had missed the point. “ _I’m_ okay. Blaine is happy, and that makes _me_ happy. Besides, I think staying here with you has made me come to terms with just how bad things had gotten. He doesn’t need me in the same way anymore, and yeah it hurts slightly; but isn’t this what we all wanted for him? To be able to finally be at peace?”

“You’re allowed to miss him you know.” Trent said softly; sitting down at the side of his friend. “I know that the pair of you slept in the same bed more times than you have ever let on. I know that it wasn’t just Blaine that suffered with disturbed sleep. You have your fair share of issues to work through too Wes, and it’s okay not to be okay. You don’t have to be so strong anymore.”

“I _do_ miss him.” Wes replied softly. “And yeah, all of this is going to take some getting used to. But I really _am_ okay Trent. I feel hopeful for the first time in forever. Taking these steps back; having all those talks this week; I can finally see how much he’s grown, and how little he actually relies on us now. I’m jealous of Smythe and Windsor; they’re getting to see him at his best; but in the end, I know that it was _us_ that got him through his worst.”

“Never doubt that he will always need you Wes.” Trent said quietly. “Do you know what he told me on Monday?” Wes shook his head and Trent smiled; looping an arm around his waist and pulling him into his side. “That the last couple of weeks have been so hard for him, because of the fact that none of us were really speaking. Things got so awkward after that Friday night, and he’d been missing you like crazy. My reply was, that the both of you had been sharing for so long; that a little separation anxiety was always going to be inevitable.”

“Do you think we’ll all be okay, once we graduate?”

“I think that as long as we keep talking these things out; we’ll be fine.” Trent replied softly. “You and Thad are going to be at Princeton together, you know that Niff will end up together; wherever that might be, and if you think David isn’t on a one-man mission to follow me to Harvard then you are as blind as Blaine is. We’ll be _fine_ Wes. I won’t let any of us fall behind.”

“You really _are_ the godfather.” Wes replied with a sad smile, and Trent pulled him into a one-armed hug; their other hands curling together on Wes’s lap.

“I promise you that I will try to be.” Trent whispered.


	9. Safety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I've been quiet this week guys. Work's been catching up on me and so I've been trying to get some early nights in to catch up on sleep.
> 
> This fic will start to have a few time jumps now, as I get the guys through Nationals and into the summer. The Blue Edition is running a few weeks ahead of this one but for this Edition to work I need to write the Summer in. 
> 
> Hope you guys are all doing okay, we're back in another lockdown here in the UK, which means I am practically stuck at work. I live and work on a ship for the best part of the year, and it's up to our skipper whether we get to go out or not. At the minute were all allowed to go shopping once a week, for essentials only, which means we're practically confined to quarters. I think everyone is missing being able to get out in the fresh air for a walk more than we are the pubs, shops and restaurants. We understand the need for it, but it still kinda sucks lol. 
> 
> Anyway, enough rambling, hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

“I’m happy.” Blaine said with a large smile as he flopped onto Sebastian’s bed; heavily. The rest of the weekend, and practices; had ran smoothly, and they had decided that a movie and Thai night was in order; to finish off the weekend. So, after a shower that was probably ten minutes longer than it needed to be; Blaine had made his way to Sebastian’s dorm, whilst Beat finished getting changed.

“You are?” Sebastian asked; pulling on a T-shirt, and trying to keep his voice neutral. Blaine’s curls were slightly wet from the shower, and the Dalton hoodie he’d thrown on was riding up his stomach slightly; exposing his belly button, the hem of his boxers, and a small scar on his side. His brown eyes were bright and looking up at him through thick lashes, and a wide grin was spread across his face. It was more than a little distracting to say the least, and Sebastian was having to keep a tight reign over his hormones; lest he end up in a _very_ awkward situation.

“Yep. I’m going to New York in two weeks.” Sebastian laughed at that and shook his head; sitting down on the edge of his bed; looking down at Blaine who had made himself at home on top of his sheets.

“ _We’re_ going to New York Killer.” He replied with a grin. As he had done so much work towards their choreography; Wes had managed to swing one extra ticket for Nationals; and Sebastian was going to be behind the stage with last minute direction and words of encouragement. It was an enormous coup for them; having him there to inspect the stage and make any last-minute changes to their routine; and everyone had been happy with the outcome of his involvement.

“Yeah, but it still means _I_ get to go. I’m going to see _everything_.” Sebastian laughed again; shaking his head at the weird but wonderful way Blaine’s brain worked.

“I tell you what Killer, even if you _don’t_ get to see everything this time around, I’ll talk to père about us using his apartment whilst he’s in France visiting maman. We could make a vacation of it.”

“You would do that?” Blaine asked; his eyes going large.

“Sure, we could go during the summer; invite some of the guys, and just generally hang out around the city for a week.” Blaine’s shoulders drooped and his smile slid away.

“I don’t think I’d be able to go.” He said softly. “But you still should. Take Prince to see everything.”

“Shortcake has _already_ seen everything Killer.” Sebastian said with a chuckle; ignoring Blaine’s drop in mood. “And you will too. Don’t worry; even if we have to smuggle you out of that prison you call a house, it would be worth it.”

“I don’t know.” Blaine replied; an apprehensive look dawning on his face. “My parents would probably kill me if I ran away, and besides; I think I’m going to be busy this summer.”

“Well, we could always try Christmas.” Sebastian said with a shrug; trying to steer the conversation away from Blaine’s summer plans. He mentally kicked himself for ruining the younger boy’s mood, and wondered why he always had to screw everything up.

“We’ll see.” Blaine hummed.

“But until then, we’ll get plenty of time in a fortnight, right?” He was desperately trying to lift the other boy’s spirits now; and Blaine smiled; though he could see that his heart wasn’t really in it. “I’m sorry.” He said with a frown. “I killed your buzz, didn’t I?”

“It’s not your fault Bas.” Blaine said with a sigh. “I just don’t want this year to end yet, and every day I’m reminded of the fact that I’m going to be stuck back at home in less than a month. It’s just kind of messing with my head a little.”

“Well, stop thinking about it, and let’s go and enjoy a movie and takeout.” Sebastian said; changing the subject, and pulling the smaller boy up off the bed by his hand. “Evan will probably disembowel me for keeping you from your weekly dose of comic book heroes, and depriving him of his fellow geek.” Blaine grinned and nodded, and he patted himself on his back for a successful deflection.

This was going to be harder than he thought.

* * *

Jeff smiled and nudged Nick to get his attention; gesturing over to one of the sofas; when his boyfriend finally turned his eyes away from the screen. Blaine had fallen asleep against Sebastian’s shoulder; both of them sat on the floor; their backs against a sofa upon which Evan and Beat were curled up together; asleep; and with a bag of half-eaten popcorn between them. Sebastian’s arm was wrapped around Blaine’s waist and his cheek was resting on top of the other boy’s curls; his eyes drooping as he too, struggled to stay awake. The whole scene was adorable enough to cause tooth-rot; and Nick rolled his eyes in fondness for the way his boyfriend was wearing a large, if somewhat melancholy smile.

“They’re so cute.” Jeff whispered; and he chuckled softly; pulling the blond into his lap and wrapping his arms around him; his chin resting on Jeff’s shoulder.

“So are you.” He whispered; grinning at his boyfriend’s blush.

“That’s not fair.” Jeff hissed back; waving off Trent’s confused glance in their direction. “You can’t say things like that here.”

“Why not?” Nick practically purred back. “I think by now everyone knows what we get up to.”

“Because saying things like that make me want to jump you; and I’m not sure anyone would appreciate me ripping your clothes off in the middle of the practise room.”

“I would.” Jeff growled and elbowed his boyfriend in the stomach; Nick’s laughter vibrating through him as his hilarity grew. “You could cause damage by doing that.” Nick whispered; nipping at his ear with his teeth.

“I _will_ cause damage if you don’t stop it, right this second.”

“Cut it out you two.” David deadpanned from the other side of the room; drawing several boys’ attention to them. Jeff’s blush deepened as several of their team members snickered at the position they were in; and Trent rolled his eyes fondly at them both.

“Why?” Nick asked; raising an eyebrow. “Got a problem Thompson?”

“With the pair of you having sex in your dorm room? No. With the pair of you having sex in full view of everyone, and half way through a movie? Yes. I have no desire to see either of your bare arses, and I will remove any body parts that are exposed unnecessarily.” Soft laughter rippled throughout the room; the team being mindful of their sleeping younger members, and the pair labelled fondly as ‘ _Niff_ ’ by Trent some weeks prior; joined in; Jeff’s blush dissipating.

It was testament to how Dalton’s policy had encouraged acceptance and openness amongst its population; when they felt comfortable enough to be able to practically make out in a room full of boys; several of whom; would fall under the label of _‘jocks_ ’ at any other school.

Dalton was different.

Dalton was _safe_.

And both boys knew that they would be sad to have to say goodbye to it’s halls in a month’s time. They knew that the real world was very different; that _college_ would be very different, and Jeff had made a silent promise to himself to keep his boyfriend safe.

Nick’s past wasn’t _too_ well known amongst the rest of the guys; with only Trent being aware of any _actual_ details; they all knew though; that he’d suffered before coming to the school. Nick had turned up in the middle of their freshman year; with dead eyes and an unwillingness to live; and Jeff spent several exhaustive months, to get him to open up. In the end; it had taken one particularly dark evening; a bottle of bourbon and two packs of cigarettes for Nick to spill everything in a booze induced rant; and the fallout had been one of the worst weeks of Jeff’s life.

Nick well and truly fell off the rails after that night; spending all of ten days in a drunken haze, and being unwilling to sober up; the memories that the alcohol had allowed him to start to process, being too painful for him to deal with. Jeff would never forget the look of utter helplessness on Nick’s face; when he discovered him with a razor blade and a sink full of blood, and it was when he had first started to realise that his life; with accepting parents and a string of private schools; had been a utopia, compared to what his now boyfriend had been through.

The inclusion of Trent into their confidence; or more accurately, his mother; had helped Nick to start to move on, and neither of them had touched booze again since that night; though the cigarettes had become a bit of a vice for the blond boy; _especially_ when he realised, he’d eaten half a box of doughnuts in a single sitting; and vowed to give up stress eating.

“Are you okay?” Nick whispered; and Jeff nodded. “Are you sure? You look like you’re a million miles away.”

“I’m okay.” Jeff said with a smile and a kiss to the corner of Nick’s mouth. “I promise. I was just thinking about college.”

“Yeah?” Nick replied with a grin and an eyebrow wiggle. “Thinking of all the kinky things we could get up to in the dorms?” Jeff growled and elbowed him once more in the ribs; drawing a laugh from his boyfriend. “You’re far too uptight mi amor.”

“And you are far too hormonal mon cœur.”

“You two are incorrigible.” Thad muttered from the sofa behind them; and they both practically jumped out of their skins; having forgotten that he was there. “Yeah, I heard all of that.” The boy grinned at them. “And boy am I glad David intervened before I ended up being scarred for life.”

“ _You_ could have said something.” Nick muttered with a pout.

“And where would the fun have been in _that_?” Jeff threw a handful of popcorn at Thad; who merely laughed at their blushes.

“Bastard.” The blond hissed.

“Don’t be mean.” Thad replied back.

“You’re lucky Seblaine and Beavan are asleep.” Jeff growled back; much to Nick and Thad’s amusement. “What?” He asked; shrugging his shoulders at their expressions. “If we have to suffer the indignity of being branded as Niff, then they can suffer the same.”

“You are so adorable.” Nick said with a grin; surging forwards to kiss his boyfriend; the pair of them ignoring Thad’s groan.

“Oi, Niff.” David called out again; this time managing to wake Sebastian; to whom he threw an apologetic glance. “I thought I told the pair of you to cut it out. Go upstairs if you can’t keep it in your pants.” The pair broke away with grins and Nick tipped the blond off of his lap; pulling him to his feet and towards the doors by his hand; throwing a salute at David, who rolled his eyes at them. Soft laughter rang in their ears as they went to continue their activities in private and both boys knew they were in for a grilling the next morning.

Now that he was awake; Sebastian shifted uncomfortably; fully aware that he more or less had Blaine in his arms. Trent threw him a grin and he scowled in return; the older boy laughing at his predicament. Beat had given him several other warnings over the course of the week; as Blaine visibly grew more comfortable around him, and physical activity between them now included, but was not limited to; grabbing hold of his hand in fits of excitement, giving him morning hugs in greeting, and had even once included a peck on the cheek when Sebastian had brought him a coffee during one particularly gruelling study session. Now the younger boy was asleep against him; his head still on his shoulder and his soft curls tickling Sebastian’s ear; blissfully unaware of Sebastian’s growing feelings for him.

Beat had explained to him that Blaine was a very physical person; that he loved to hug, and was nearly always in physical contact with any person he was travelling the halls with. The theory was, that he used other people’s presence to ground him, giving him something to anchor himself to, in case he became overwhelmed and they had shared their thoughts with Trent and Wes, both of whom had agreed with their assessment. Beat’s ‘ _Book of Blaine_ ’ had subsequently been updated to include the newly discovered stimuli before getting tucked back in his wardrobe, away from its subject’s eyes.

“Do you want me to take him upstairs?” Trent asked; shocking Sebastian out of his thoughts. The older boy was crouched on the other side of Blaine; and Sebastian watched as Trent ran his eyes over the dark-haired boy; a soft smile on his lips.

“No, he’s fine.” Was his quiet reply.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive. I promise we won’t recreate Niff’s little drama. I can be a good boy.” Trent chuckled at that and ran his hands over Blaine’s curls.

“Okay, well I’m off to bed, so you’re going to have to either wake him, or get Thad to carry him up.”

“I can manage.” Was his affronted reply; to which Trent merely grinned at.

“Then here’s a warning not to drop him. He won’t thank you for it, and neither will I.”

“Go to bed Nixon.” Sebastian deadpanned; and he shook his head as Trent merely laughed as he stood up.

“Goodnight Stan.”

* * *

“My concerns over Smythe are growing.” Wes growled as he paced the floor of their dorm. It was just gone ten, and he’d arrived back at their room with confirmation that Sebastian had _indeed_ carried Blaine up; only to sequester him away into his own dorm; Beat taking a change of clothes down for Blaine to change into.

“Sebastian is fine.” Trent said softly; not even bothering to look up from his book. “He cares too much about D to even consider doing anything to hurt him.”

“ _That’s_ my problem.” Wes growled. “Blaine is fucking besotted with the guy, and I can’t help but see the whole thing ending in tears.” Trent sighed and finally put his book down on top of the covers; sitting up to give Wes a hard look.

“Do you trust me?” He asked.

“You don’t even need me to answer that.” Wes said immediately and with conviction.

“Then please trust me on _this_. We can’t keep Blaine wrapped in bubble wrap all his life. He _will_ have relationships and boyfriends and _sex_.” Trent caught Wes’s wince at that and frowned. “Does that bother you?”

“The thought of the boy I see as my little brother, having sex?” Wes asked; raising an eyebrow. “Yeah, a little bit.”

“Because it’s with another boy?” Trent asked; looking down at his fingers that were picking at his nails; insecurity pulling at his insides and twisting around his stomach.

“What? No!” Wes said in shock; stopping his pacing and sitting on the edge of Trent’s bed. “Why would _that_ of all things, bother me?”

“Sorry, ignore me.” The other boy said with a wince and he waved his hand in Wes’s direction.

“No, I’m _not_ going to ignore what you just accused me of.” Wes growled. “Do you really believe that I think like that? After everything we’ve been through?”

“I said I’m sorry, okay?” Trent snapped uncharacteristically; picking up his book again and flicking to his page; his eyes focussing on the words, but not doing any actual reading. Wes studied his roommate in concern and was soon pulling the covers back on Trent’s bed; climbing in at the side of the other boy.

“You know that you can talk to me, right?” He asked; his arm going around Trent’s shoulders as he pulled his friend sideways, and into his side. “If there’s anything bothering you.”

“I said sorry.” Trent sighed; his book going back down onto the bed covers.

“I know. But I’m still allowed to be concerned that you’re having those kinds of thoughts. Why would you think I had a problem with who Blaine slept with? I thought we knew each other better than that.”

“We do.” Trent said hurriedly.

“Then what gives?”

“I just… I guess after the last week or so, and with Beat and Evan, and Niff… I guess I’m just a little more aware that college is looming, and the safety of Dalton will be ripped away. I left public school for a reason, and so did Blaine and Nick… With me having to worry less about Blaine’s situation, I guess I’m starting to worry about my own.”

“Listen to me.” Wes said forcibly; pushing Trent back into a sitting position and making eye contact with him. “I can’t promise that you won’t run into bigots, you _know_ this Trent, but David is going to be there with you, and I know that you can more than look after yourself too. Yes, Dalton has been a safe space for a long time, and I’m not saying it’s not going to be hard; leaving it. But the world _is_ changing, and Massachusetts is one of the most progressive states in the country. I promise you that whatever happens you’ll be protected under law. I know that you know this Trent, so _please_ ; where is this coming from? Has someone said something to you?”

“No, nothing like that.” Trent assured; shaking his head; and a look of shame crossing over his face. “You’re right, I know _logically_ that Harvard is going to be mainly safe…”

“But you can’t help but feel nervous.” Wes finished when Trent trailed off.

“My fears are mainly baseless…”

“No, Trent. They’re not.” The edge was back in Wes’s tone, and he knew that this was something he had to hammer through his friend’s skull. “Your fears are based on experience, and yes of _course_ they’re always going to be there. I know that you envy Jeff, and his naivety sometimes; but being a little world weary isn’t a bad thing either. Just please don’t let these fears turn into something they’re not. I know that you know you’re going to be safe, but you can’t help what runs through your mind. I’m always here to talk though if you need a sounding board, or a good slap up the head to get you back on track. Alright?” Trent nodded and Wes pulled him back towards his shoulder; settling them both down into the covers and reaching up to hit the light.

He would be there for his best friend; no matter how far apart they were.


	10. Preperations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would apologise yet again to you guys, but I guess it would start to sound rather empty, considering how many apologies I've given these last couple of weeks. I'll try to do better for you all as regards to updating. The Blue Edition should be getting updated tomorrow, if you are also following that, so keep an eye out!

Blaine was starting to panic as he rushed about the dorm; opening drawers and cupboards; paper spilling everywhere as he continued his frantic search.

“Well, I don’t know if _you_ had heard about a little something;” He snapped at Beat; who was rolling his eyes fondly at his roommate and throwing unhelpful suggestions out randomly. “uh, I don’t know; my phone is missing, my hair won’t stay flat, my conditioner ran out, and now we’re going to be late for Warbler practice.” Blaine counted off his problems on his fingers before practically throwing his bedding onto the floor.

“Oh, I _have_ heard those things Devon.” Beat replied. “About a thousand times, but never before have they been told to me with so much _sass._ Drop the attitude Devon Anderson. You’re acting like Garfield, on a Monday.” Beat crossed his arms and glanced in his roommate’s direction; amusement rising at Blaine’s offended look. The older boy’s mouth was open in shock and his hand had come up to his chest as he had taken a step back.

“Don’t you think I have a right to be a _little_ stressed out?” Blaine asked once he’d gathered himself.

“No.” Beat deadpanned; despite the laughter he could feel bubbling in his chest. “No, I _don’t_. You know this is _just_ like with your car keys the other day okay? _I_ stressed out, _I_ was the one who had to search through that mess you call a desk, and you didn’t do _anything_. You just sat on your bed and played your guitar, and ended up remembering that they were in your jacket pocket all along.”

“But…”

“And I don’t know what you’re even stressing _about_ Devon. It’s just like in Harry Potter, when he defeated Voldemort, and he was a _baby_.” Blaine frowned at that; confusion on his face, and Beat couldn’t help but finally dissolve into giggles.

“How is losing my phone, like defeating Voldemort?” He asked in total mystification; and Beat’s laughter increased. There was a knock on the door and Blaine went to answer it; his confusion still visible as he shot a worried glance in his dormmate’s direction.

“Are you two planning on coming to practice or what?” Sebastian asked when Blaine opened the door. The tall boy glanced over Blaine’s shoulder and rolled his eyes at his cousin, who by now had tears in his eyes from the laughter.

“I can’t find my phone.” Blaine whined.

“Do you really need it _now_?” Sebastian asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, and Prince here isn’t being any help at _all_.”

“Have you tried your jacket pocket?” Sebastian asked, and Blaine scowled at him. “Just a question.”

“What the _devil_ is going on here?” Trent asked; sidling up to the side of Sebastian. “Devon Anderson get your skinny butt down to practice.”

“But…”

“I don’t want to hear it. All of you, downstairs. _Now_.” Beat rushed to the door; grabbing Blaine’s hand and pulling him down the corridor; his laughter still audible; even as they headed out of sight. Sebastian shrugged in Trent’s direction.

“Something about a missing phone?” He offered. Trent snorted in amusement and stepped into the younger pair’s room; his hand going into the pocket of a blazer; which was hung by the door. He pulled out the device in question and rolled his eyes; also picking up the Beat’s keys which had been left on one of the desks; locking the door behind him as he re-joined Sebastian in the corridor.

“If he’s already wearing a blazer, he never checks the pocket of the other one.” He explained at Sebastian’s perplexed look. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah, I just came up to get the pair of them.” Trent nodded and they set off towards the stairs.

“How are you feeling about coming to New York next week?” The older boy asked softly; shooting a look in Sebastian’s direction. “I know it holds memories for you.”

“It’s hard to feel down when a certain someone can’t stop going on about how excited he is.” Was his reply. “His happiness really _is_ infectious. I can see why so many are drawn to him.” Trent chuckled.

“Does that include _you_?” He asked; his amusement growing when the younger boy’s eyebrows shot up. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you look at him, and that little observation you made about him being so physical? Yeah, that _didn’t_ come out of nowhere.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sebastian said tightly; as they finally reached the doors to the Warbler commons. Trent hummed and gave him a knowing look.

“Just please be gentle with him.” The older boy said softly. “He’s still…”

“A virgin?” Sebastian finished with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah, anyone can see that a mile off. But don’t worry, I’ll look after your little canary.” Trent rolled his eyes at the younger boy’s snark, but he could see that deep down Sebastian meant what he said.

“Good, because otherwise it won’t just be me gunning for your balls.” With that Trent pushed open the doors and made his way towards the front of the room; handing Blaine his phone and Beat his keys; grinning when the pair of them looked at him with huge eyes.

“Now we’re all here.” Wes drawled; his eyebrow raised in Trent’s direction. “Shall we get started?”

* * *

“I still don’t get it.” Blaine said, as he was laying in bed, and looking up at the ceiling; his arms crossed behind his head.

“Get what?” Beat asked; turning the page in his book.

“How me losing my phone is like Harry defeating Voldemort.”

“You’re _still_ thinking about that?” The young boy asked in amusement; a grin spreading over his face. “Dev, I was just fucking with you.”

“But I don’t get it.” Beat sighed and climbed out of his bed; making his way over to instead lay next to Blaine.

“You’re not _supposed_ to get it.” He said softly. “It was my way of saying that there are worse things that could happen, than just losing your phone and running out of conditioner.”

“Oh.”

“You really struggle with this stuff, don’t you?” Beat asked quietly; after a few minutes of silence. He could feel that Blaine was tense against his side and he knew that it was time for one of their more serious conversations. “How often do you find yourself trying to think about what other people have said, that you don’t understand?”

“Most of the time to be honest.” Blaine replied softly; rolling onto his side to make eye contact with the smaller boy. “Sometimes its like people speak a different language, and I find myself missing a lot of the jokes that the guys tell. It wasn’t like that… before.”

“Oh Devon.” Beat sighed; brushing Blaine’s hair away from his face; his heart clenching at the thought of how much the other boy perceived he’d lost through his injury.

“It’s okay.” The Blaine replied quietly. “I know I’m lucky to even be alive right now. It’s just… it gets hard when I remember what I was like before. I remember being able to laugh and joke with my old friends. I remember when I didn’t need this sort of stuff explaining to me. I remember when I didn’t lose things, or forget to refill my conditioner. It’s the small things like that…”

“They really get to you huh?”

“Yeah.”

“You know that’s what _we’re_ here for, right? To help you understand. You only have to ask.”

“I’m just so worried about college, and how I’m going to cope. If I can’t even remember to refill my conditioner, how am I meant to look after myself after school?” Beat could see that his roommate was getting frustrated, and tried to keep his tone light and calm, in a bid to prevent himself from setting Blaine off.

“How about we note it down as something to work on next year?” He asked softly. “We could devise a system between us that can help you to keep track of things, and we can start talking about things that confuse you, so that I might be able to help you gain a better understanding of stuff.”

“What kind of system?” Blaine asked; biting his lip.

“What about using the calendar on your phone? We see how long it roughly takes for you to get through your toiletries, and set up alerts to remind you to refill them. As for losing things, there are those little tags now, that you can attach to keyrings and locate them via Bluetooth. We could get you some to put on your important stuff, like your phone, keys or your wallet. That way, if you lose something, you will be able to locate it easily enough.”

“That sounds… like a really good idea.” Blaine replied; his eyebrows raising. “What other ideas are in that brain of yours?”

“Well, when we next go shopping; we could buy you backups of all your toiletries as well, so that you’re not caught out if you _do_ forget to refill something. We could have an emergency box in your wardrobe with everything in it, just in case.”

“Like my survival box.”

“ _Exactly_ like your survival box, and when you need to take something out, we can have a little chart on the lid, and you tick it off. As long as one of us remembers to check it each time we do a shop; there shouldn’t be any need for you to run out of conditioner.”

“You’re good at this.” Blaine stated; making Beat blush slightly. “Thank you.”

“No problem. That’s what I’m here for, _right_? As long as we keep working through these things together, we will get you ready for college in no time.” Blaine grimaced at that, and Beat wondered if he’d pushed too far. “Sorry.”

“No… it’s just…” Blaine trailed off and he turned back over; his eyes going up to the ceiling again. “I guess the thought of living independently scares me a bit. It’s something I never thought I would do, after what happened. But here you are, helping me plan to do just that.”

“Is this not something you ever talked to Wes or Trent about?” Beat asked; knowing that he was toeing a dangerous line, but needing to know if a talk with either of the older boys was required.

“I guess I just figured they’d tell me that I’d be fine, so I never brought up running out of stuff, or me losing things. They know that I do, and Trent knew _exactly_ where to find my phone today, but in comparison to everything else, it never seemed like a priority.”

“Because you’d been working through bigger issues.” Beat responded; nodding in understanding. “So, the small stuff went unnoticed and unaddressed.”

“I guess.”

“It’s not a bad thing Dev.” The younger boy assured; at Blaine’s frown. “And it’s not even a problem anymore, because we still have a year to iron out all of these little things that have slipped through the cracks. Wes and Trent have done an amazing job in getting you to where you are today, but sometimes it takes a fresh set of eyes to see the full picture.”

“I’m so lucky to have you all.”

“I think _we_ consider ourselves the lucky ones D.” Beat said quietly. “That we get to know the amazing person you are. There’s really no wonder my cousin is crushing on you, with how full of life you can be at times.” Blaine blushed at that and Beat chuckled at his roommate’s red cheeks.

“Have you ever watched Spiderman?” He asked out of the blue; and Beat’s head shook in confusion. “Spiderman 3 is the worst; I hate that movie.” It was obvious that Blaine had no intentions of explaining his random thought, and so Beat merely curled up at the side of him; throwing an arm around his stomach, and feeling the older boy bury his face into his hair as they fell asleep.

* * *

“What are you doing Charles?” Natasha asked from the large armchair in her husband’s office.

“Grading…” Was his somewhat confused reply.

“You know that isn’t what I meant.” She replied; folding her arms and crossing her legs; leaning back in the seat. “Wesley spent most of tonight looking like he was about to burst into tears. He _still_ hasn’t told either of us where that bruise came from the other week, and he seems really torn up about the Anderson kid making him move out of his dorm.”

“Blaine Anderson didn’t _make_ him move anywhere.” Charles replied; putting down his pen and leaving his desk to sit opposite his wife. “They had already discussed it before now, and at the time, though he was reluctant; Wesley agreed that it was what was necessary.”

“To protect their friendship.”

“To protect _Blaine_.” Was his reply. “You’ve seen the kid’s history Nat; and our son has been doing more that either of us ever imagined when it comes to caring for him.”

“Which brings me back to my original question. What are _you_ doing?”

“At the minute? It feels like not much.” He admitted. “I’m still searching for a therapist to agree to become an AA for him for next year, and the Nixons are keeping me in the loop as regards to their case against his parents. The Andersons haven’t been back in touch since that debacle with the Nixon boy and the phone call, though I had expected to hear something after the letter I sent them regarding their use of homophobic language towards a minor.”

“So, what about the kids?” Natasha asked. “Have you been keeping _them_ in the loop?”

“This shouldn’t be something they’re involved in…”

“Charles, I love you but you can be an idiot at times. Wesley is _already_ involved, and deeply by the looks of things. I’m surprised he hasn’t stormed in here to give you another piece of his mind before now.”

“You think he’s mad at me again?”

“Worse.” Natasha said, shaking her head. “I think he’s accepted that you’re no help to him at all. Did you know that the three of them visited Mary Nixon last weekend?”

“No. How do _you_ know?”

“Because we _talk_ Charles.” She replied in exasperation. “Which is exactly what you should be doing with those kids. Tell them that you are working on it, _show_ them that you care, and that you aren’t just sat here in your ivory tower playing God. I know that you think the situation with Andersons is delicate, but at the end of the day, we’re talking about a kid’s welfare here. Screw his parents, it’s _him_ you should be focusing on. How is he doing with his coursework? How does he feel about next year? Is his new living situation working out? These are all questions you should be asking.”

Charles knew that his wife was right, and that he’d once again failed the boy he’d vowed to do more for. Becoming headmaster of his old school had been one of the defining moments of his adult life, and he’d vowed to protect each and every boy who passed through his halls. He’d been involved in child abuse cases before; but hardly ever ones where said child was still living with their abusers.

It was times like this that he felt wholly inadequate, and he was grateful beyond words that he had his wife to guide him through these situations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I shamelessly used Starkid dialogue in this chapter. No, I'm not going to apologise for it. Kudos to anyone who gets the Spiderman reference.


	11. Sugar Induced All-Nighter

They were finally here.

After months of preparation, changed setlists, arguments and reconciliations, not to mention the gruelling hours Wes had been making them put in, _finally_ it was time for Nationals.

Blaine was a ball of excitement and nerves; bouncing around the dorm, despite the late hour; finding it impossible to sleep. They were being picked up by their coach at six, ready for the flight to New York; and he didn’t know if he would be able to settle until they were at their hotel, and back in last minute rehearsals.

“Are you planning on going to bed?” Beat groaned; turning over to see Blaine bouncing on the edge of his bed; his hands tucked under his thighs and his eyes large and very much _awake_.

“I can’t sleep.” Blaine replied. “Too excited.” Beat groaned again and sat up; knowing that it was going to be impossible for _him_ to sleep whilst Blaine was still up.

“Okay.” He said; climbing off of his bed and holding his hand out to pull a now confused Blaine to his feet. “Let’s go.”

“Go where?” Blaine asked; his heart clenching in fear. Was Beat throwing him out?

“To wake the others.” Was his roommate’s even _more_ confusing reply. “Starting with Niff.” Beat saw Blaine’s painfully perplexed look and realised that he was going to have to spell it out for his older roommate. “If you’re planning on pulling an all-nighter, you are _not_ going to be pulling it alone. So, let’s round up the others and see if Trent is up for some late-night creeping to steal us some ice-cream from the kitchens.”

“Really?” Blaine asked; his face lighting up.

“Of course. Wes is probably going to kill me, if Stan doesn’t get there first, but it’ll be worth it. Besides it would make a nice end to the competition and the year, and it could be a tradition we start together.” Blaine’s face softened at that and Beat knew he’d gotten it right.

The last couple of weeks had been hard for all of them, and Wes had more than once, turned into a monster during rehearsal. He didn’t want Blaine’s last memories of their current team being spoiled by the remembrances of sore muscles, and Wes’s shouting. So, a night all together in the commons; eating ice cream and just generally goofing off, was exactly what was needed to finish off their year.

They pulled on their dressing gowns over their t-shirts and jogging pants, and they crept out of their dorm room. Beat started knocking softly on the door next to theirs, and didn’t stop until Nick’s annoyed face appeared.

“What the actual _fuck_ Windsor?” The senior growled.

“Both of you get some clothes on and meet us in the commons in five minutes.” Beat said; ignoring the fact that Nick was only wearing a pair of boxers. “Otherwise, I’m coming back to drag both your asses out of bed.”

“What’s going on?” Jeff asked sleepily as he appeared behind his boyfriend. Unfortunately for all of them, it was clear that he was too tired to either realise or care that he was completely naked, and Beat shifted uncomfortably; diverting his eyes away from the pair of them.

“Oh my god.” Blaine exclaimed quietly; turning around to put his back to the three boys, and the sight of Jeff in all his glory.

“Seeing as you saw me naked, we’ll call this square.” Beat said tightly; trying to look at anything _but_ Jeff’s lower body. “Now _please_ , put on some clothes and meet us downstairs. We’re pulling a sugar induced all-nighter.” With that; the younger boy grabbed hold of Blaine’s hand and pulled him down the hallway; out of sight of the two seniors.

He mentally called Nick a bastard when he heard the other boy’s laughter echo down the quiet hall.

* * *

“You better have a fucking good explanation for this Windsor.” Thad growled as he and David entered the commons together. “It’s fucking midnight.”

“Now that we’re all here.” Blaine said; getting up from the floor to stand on the council table. “Beat and I have decided to start a new tradition. I know that our usual pre-performance traditions revolve around the competition, but after the last few weeks, we thought that it would be nice to start a new one. Senior Nixon, if you would be so kind?” Trent grinned and got up from the sofa; crossing the room and opening the office door; bringing out two large bags of ice cream tubs.

“Anderson, did I ever tell you that I love you?” Logan asked; to the laughter of the rest of the team.

“You know what Wright? I don’t think you ever have.” Blaine replied; his head tilting to one side. “Do you want to start now?”

“Nope.” The other boy said; popping the ‘ _p_ ’ and causing more laughter. They distributed the ice cream and soon the whole team were spread out across the commons; Beat and Evan sharing a tub of maple pecan; whilst Sebastian hoarded two boxes of mint choc chip to himself.

“Can I say something?” Wes asked; glancing nervously around the room, at the tired but excited faces of his team. He got several nods and everyone’s attention and he cleared his throat; leaning into Trent slightly as he found his courage. “In just a few weeks, us seniors are going to graduate. We’re all going on to do different things, and we’re all moving to separate places, but I just want all of you to know, that no matter where life takes any of us, we will always be a brotherhood.”

“Hear, hear.” Was heard around the room as the rest of the team nodded.

“I am so proud to be a Warbler; to have shared this experience with all of you, both through the good _and_ the bad, and it has been my privilege to lead you all this past two years. You guys are my family, and though we won’t see each other as much anymore, never doubt that each and every one of us will always _be_ a Warbler.”

“Wes…” Trent whispered; seeing that his roommate was starting to get emotional; but Wes merely shook his head; waving off his concern. Several of the boys were already in tears; including Blaine, David and Jeff, and Wes knew that this was something he needed to get off his chest.

“Whatever happens in a few days’ time; whether we place or not, I am so proud of all of you, for the work you have put in this year, and for being so understanding with us all; these past few weeks especially. It’s been a long and hard road, but I don’t think any of you will disagree with me when I say that we’re at the strongest we’ve ever been. I believe in our setlist, I believe in our soloists, and I believe in all of you to put on the best damn show New York has ever seen. You have all gone above and beyond what has been expected of you, and I know that even after we’re gone, this team is going to be in the best of hands.”

Beat knew what was coming next; and he reached out from his spot on the sofa to grip Blaine’s shoulder; from where he was sat on the floor with Sebastian; his back resting against Beat’s knees.

“Which is why,” Wes continued; locking eyes with Blaine and offering the young boy a smile. “when we drive out of those gates in the morning, I want us to _be_ in those hands. Warblers, I would like to nominate Sophomore; soon to be Senior Anderson, to become the new head Warbler.” Blaine was in shock, his eyes wide and his body numb as the rest of the team cheered (albeit softly considering the time) and the vote was made unanimously.

He was taking the Warblers to Nationals as their _Captain_.

There was no way he was getting _any_ sleep for about a week, and when it finally sank in, the smile threatened to split his face in half.

* * *

The rest of the night passed with the team sharing memories and stories from their time together; Sebastian getting a full explanation as to why Blaine was now banned from jumping on the furniture, and he had been made to promise Wes that he would enforce the rule over the course of the next year; much to Blaine’s embarrassment.

Beat in return told the story of his first few days as a Warbler, and the whole group fell about laughing as they remembered how loud they had cheered when he had introduced himself as a drum-kit. He smiled fondly as he scolded Wes, for grabbing him and throwing him up in the air during that first meet, and he thanked Thad for being the one to catch him.

“I just didn’t want to see Montgomery kicked off the council before his reign of terror had well and truly begun.” Thad said with a grin and a nod in Beat’s direction. Somewhere between Fight Club, and him moving in with Blaine; the two of them had reached an understanding, and Beat was relieved that he had finally gained Thad’s trust.

“I wasn’t _that_ bad.” Wes grumbled; to which he received shouts of ‘ _bullshit_ ’ and ‘ _yes you were_ ’.

“ _I’m_ going to be worse.” Blaine butted in with a truly terrifying grin that very few of them had seen before.

“I think we’ve created a monster.” Wes stage-whispered to Trent.

“Oh no, _you_ did this one all by yourself.” Was the other boy’s reply. “Leave me out of it.” The rest of the team, including Blaine laughed and Wes mock-groaned; shooting a wink in their new Captain’s direction.

“I think hands down, the _best_ memory I have of this crazy ride will be the Gap Attack.” David said with a grin in Blaine’s direction.

“Oh my _God_ David you bastard.” Blaine groaned; burying his red face into his hands. “You did _not_ just go there.”

“I think that was kind of the problem. We _did_ go there.” Thad butted in. “The memories of your first crush will stay with me forever.”

“I just can’t believe you didn’t tell _us_.” Trent said; shaking his head. “You just dropped it out in front of us all and gave Wes and I, a damn heart attack.”

“Was that before or _after_ he admitted making out with Rachel Berry?” Sebastian asked; and Blaine groaned again; the laughter from his friend’s teasing; warming him through.

“I hate you all.” He growled playfully; finally looking up to glare at them.

“No you don’t.” Trent countered back; and he broke into a soft smile.

“No, I don’t.” He agreed.

“So, does anyone want to explain _that_?” Logan asked out of the blue; nodding to the sofa Blaine and Sebastian were leant against; and they all looked over to see Beat and Evan snuggled together; their tub of ice cream now empty and nestled between them. Eyebrows were raised when they realised that Evan’s hands were pushed under Beat’s t-shirt, and Blaine couldn’t help but grin at how; even in sleep, Beat was blushing slightly.

“Back off Wright.” Sebastian growled in warning.

“Hey, no problems here man.” Logan replied; his hands getting thrown up in the air in surrender. “Just wondering if there was something we should know.”

“You’re such a _gossip_ Wright.” Grant grumbled from where he was sat cross-legged on the coffee table.

“Speaking of, no one outside of this room must know.” Blaine said sternly. “And no one is to say anything to them until _they_ say something first. None of you have seen this, and I promise you that the first person to make them feel uncomfortable will _not_ be here very long.”

“Establishing dominance early I see Killer.” Sebastian drawled with a smirk on his lips. “You’re kind of turning me on right now.” Blaine threw him a filthy look and elbowed him in the ribs in response.

“I need assurances.” He growled out; casting a hard look over the rest of the team.

“You can count on us Anderson.” Wright said with an apologetic nod. “Nothing will be said. Sorry I pried.”

“Good, because if anything happens to either of them; retribution will be swift and painful; Fight Club or no.”

“Told you he would make a good leader.” Wes whispered to Trent; who smiled in response.

“Was it ever in doubt?” The other boy asked; as the rest of the team gave Blaine their reassurances on behalf of the new couple.

“So, who wants to play spin the bottle?” Thad asked; breaking the tension and bringing a fierce blush back to Blaine’s face. The new captain of the Warblers found that he didn’t _really_ care how much ribbing he was taking; as long as Beat and Evan were protected from more questions.

“I vote Cards Against Humanity instead.” Sebastian said with a grin; much to Wes’s horror.

“No, definitely _not_. There are _young_ one’s here!” He said in alarm.

“Screw you Montgomery.” Ryan; one of the other freshmen piped up from a large armchair. “I’m fifteen!” There was more laughter and Sebastian went to fetch his pack of cards; much to Wes’s panic and mortification. Trent merely laughed at his side, and Wes reminded himself to murder his roommate at the earliest opportunity for encouraging Sebastian.

* * *

It was a tired but happy group of Warblers that boarded the bus the next morning; most of them having managed to stay awake all night. Blaine had crashed somewhere around three; much to Wes’s relief, but it _did_ mean that he’d only gotten just over two hours sleep; before they needed to start getting ready to meet the coach. He had promised his former roommate that he wouldn’t sleep until they were out of the gates; Wes wanting him to experience his first Warbler call as Captain.

“Oh Yeah!” Blaine called out; right on cue for the bus passing the gates; and the rest of the team echoed him; dissolving into laughter as he punched the air before dropping back into his seat to finally pass out from exhaustion. Beat and Evan had gravitated to a seat together; and Trent had been adamant that Wes sat with him; leaving Blaine sitting next to Sebastian for the journey to the airport. Once they were sure that he was asleep; and dead to the world; Trent approached the junior with a small bag.

“This is his emergency pack; in case he gets a migraine.” He said quietly; passing the kit to a bemused Sebastian. “He doesn’t usually get sick, but he _does_ get headaches. If you see him clenching his jaw, give him one Tylenol, plus another one in a couple of hours. If he gets worse give him two Advil and a bottle of Gatorade.”

“What makes you think I’m qualified for this?” Sebastian asked; raising an eyebrow.

“Piss off Stan, both you and I know you are more than capable at caring for a migraine. Just keep an eye on him for me, and call me if you need anything.”

“Has anyone told you that you mother too much?” Sebastian drawled; arching an eyebrow.

“You’ll thank me for it one day.” Trent replied tightly; showing Sebastian that he may have touched a nerve. The taller boy snorted; but took the pack with a nod of thanks; tucking it into the seat pocket in front of him and leaning back in his seat; in order to try and get some sleep. He knew that Trent’s handover of the pack; meant that he was more than likely going to be on Blaine-sitting duty for the flight, _and_ the coach ride through New York as well.

He could cope with that.


End file.
